Monday, July 25, 2011

Sir George Mallory advises a promising upstart on what it takes to win the TOUR...See the current new online ALMANZO News Magazine

Sir Mallory weighs in on Chippy's future chances in terms of getting kisses from the beautiful podium girls @ the the whole exchange on Skogen's Almanzo Online News Magazine!

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

The Sir Mallory Memorial Race for Honor & Discovery could attract huge field of talented riders, according to Velo-News

The DBD proudly announces the first annual Sir George Mallory Race for Honor & Discovery.

Dear Readers:

In recognition of Mallory's contributions of late to the Club, we thought it a good idea to offer up a race in his honor. The following is an explanation.

This fully self-supported event shall commence from the DBD’s summer clubhouse, located on the spacious west-wing of the historic Kitchi Gammi Club, in Old Duluth, at the strike of midnight on Thursday, July 28th and finish sometime before 6:00 a.m. on Monday, August 1st [Note: once the clock strikes midnight— no assistance from one’s Man-servant(s) will be tolerated!]

~88% of the proposed ~380 to 400 mile route consists of rugged MN-DNR multi-use trails including most of the 160+ mile Taconite Trail, all of the Yukon Trail, all of the Tomahawk Trail, and about a forty mile span of the Northshore Trail.

The first segment of the racecourse involves riding the only asphalt on the route (~45 miles) to access the ALBORN-PENGILLY TRAIL. This ATV trail, is 42 miles long and follows an abandoned railroad grade through beautiful scenery from Alborn to Pengilly.

From Pengilly (near to Grand Rapids), one will access the Taconite Trail by way of a short snowmobile spur trail known as the Lawron Trail. The Taconite Trail takes one all the way to Ely, some 155 miles up the trail. It looks to be a reasonable stretch and promises to be most picturesque as well, if you are into that sort of thing. [Note: There appears to be intermittent shelters along the way, not unlike those found on the Arrowhead and Northshore trails.]

Once in Ely, the intrepid racer will access the mysterious Tomahawk Trail. This 86-mile segment looks to be the most remote and potentially most sporting of the course. To our knowledge, no civilized man has yet succeeded in forging through this segment of swamps and bogs in summer. Kershaw recently made an infamous attempt, but was quickly turned back in dishonor. He shall have to live with that shameful decision for the rest of his life! But I digress…

Finally after completing the Tomahawk, a whole man shall be treated to a 30+ mile passage upon the enigmatic Yukon Trail and then finally an ~ 40 mile segment of the Northshore Trail, which is doable but requires a stalwart steadfastness that is somewhat lacking in many of today’s modern men.

Equipment needs are up to you and your Man-servant(s) to contemplate. My man, Farrow, will be mounted upon his trusty Pugsley.

In sum: One should expect a fairly eventful multi-day challenge.

More specifics to be forthcoming in the near future including a listing of the participants.

Best regards,

Ernest Shackleton (DBD Member since 1908)

Addendum 7/21/2011: Note the addition of the Yukon Trail (which adds 40 miles to the effort); which is needed as it acts as a connecting spur betwixt the Tomahawk and the Northshore. By the way to my knowledge no one has ever done this whole thing before in summer in any form or mode of transport. Of course, a more impressive ride from an adventurous cyclist's perspective would involve tackling it in mid-Winter, but even in Summer one should find plenty to think about. Also of Note: The Northshore Trail has been ridden in the winter (with some outside support) by the Brothers John and Matt Evingson along with Pierre Ostor some five years past; whilst Farrow rode the Northshore route to Grand Marais in the summer of 2009.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Why these men belong in the DBD Adventure Society

Some of you no doubt are aware of the obscure, yet compelling Trans-Wisconsin Race. Kershaw and I partook last season and did the 600+ miles in 88 hours. The effort greatly aged my colon plus lead me to contemplate taking up smoking hashish and even to vote for the Tea-Party favorite, Ms. Bachman. In any event this year's version was a bit different in both scope and direction and even more obscure. Thus, as best as I can figure it, only two stalwart brave fellows showed up at the commencement. Namely Jim Reed (of Duluth) and Lindsay Gauld (of Winnipeg); two courageous, yet amicable souls that I am lucky to call friends. I have spoken with Reed on his T.W. exploit and he assured me that a great insight into the nature of one's self was gained and that he too now oddly felt a pang deep within his innards, perhaps the colon? And that he now often thinks of smoking opium in the same manner as Sir Cannon-Doyle did. Also of interest is the ironically strange sense of rage he now feels for any kind of collective labor negotiations (he is a fire-fighter)...But I had not heard from Lindsay so I wrote his faithful Man-servant, the noted nautical archaeologist and all around good-guy, Dr. Andy Lockery, to ascertain the fate of old Lindsay. Below is the full correspondence. I hope you find it as delightfully entertaining as I did and furthermore it is my hope to continue to make the case for both Andy and Lindsay for induction into the DBD:

Hi Charlie,
Great to hear from you. !
The Trans -Wisconsin was interesting in that only Lindsay, and a photographer from Milwaukee showed up . Lindsay raced on his own and did very well . He was averaging about 2 kms an hour faster than last years much longer event, but hit a snag at the northern most point of the race. We think that Joe (the race director) must have used an out of date map to select the route as the trail just disappeared into a bog and despite searching for a way to continue for about an hour and a half the bush was so dense that there was no choice but to take the same trail as he had travelled north on. Lindsay's plan was to retrace his steps south until he crossed an east west trail and then see if he could refind the trail that Joe wanted to use in the race. That didn't happen as Lindsay crashed and the front tire came off the rim . Since it was a "Stans" tire there wasn't enough air in a hand pump to reseat the tire , Lindsay had to put a tube in the tire. This seemed like a good solution, apart from his new, award winning, Lezyne pump eating the core out of his Stans valve. he had other tubes but without a functioning pump he was out of luck. By this time he had wasted about 4 hours , it was the middle of the night , it had been pissing down for six hours with severe thunder and lightning, so he decided to walk about 10 miles to Ashland where he phoned his faithful manservant , who crawled out of bed and drove from Cable to Ashland , picked up a small soggy wizened Hobbit and drove him back to Cable where he arrived at about 3am.

He rode about 500kms and was about 150km from the finish when he quit. It was a good experience as it resulted in some revisions to his pump and also gave him a good feeling about his ability to ride long distances without sleep. Hopefully it will benefit his Iditabike effort next February.

He also had an interesting experience during the first night on the trail. He was planning to catch 2 hours sleep at 2 am but it was raining cats and dogs . He rode on to a place where the trail crossed a gravel road and he could see the reflection of a light about 2 or 3 kms down this road. It turned out to be a Biker bar, [ Harley type of bike] Any way, these large hairy gentlemen were captivated by this hobbit sized, lycra clad, wizened old character , who had been riding his bicycle in the bush , totally on his own, for 18 hours and was still quite chirpy !. They were keen to adopt him as a mascot and plied him with alcohol and Pizza. At one point a Harley drove right into the bar and proceeded to make crop circles on the floor of the bar to the delight of all the occupants including the owner, who advised Lindsay that this was nothing out of the ordinary.

Glad you enjoyed the puns !

Thursday, July 14, 2011

A New Exciting Online Cycling Publication

Check out the new Almanzo Online Magazine (see link above). I am personally enthralled with the "Ask Mallory" feature...but there are sections for the whole family...