Monday, February 9, 2009

Inside the mind of a truly disturbed cyclist. Part II of the 2009 Arrowhead Transcripts from the clinically insane and his Dr.

Dear Readers: Below is the second transcribed conversation between the Freudian Therapist and his greatest challenge: _________________________________________________________________
Pre-Therapy Session # 2
Freudian therapist discussing case with his partners, a Jungian veterinarian and an existentialistic podiatrist (of which he shares office space with in a suburban strip mall): “He seems so fragmented, so confused, so disassociated from reality…but his family and students say that he is always that way. In any event, I think I have finally met the case that can get me published in the APA! Have both of you worked with him in the past?”

Jungian veterinarian: “Yes…I know him. At this point, is he danger to himself, his students, or any of his pets? Have you discussed his strange interactions with the family’s pet gecko? In my exchanges with him, the gecko seemed to dominate his discombobulated mind. I determined that he felt intellectually inferior to the gecko and thus resented its place within the family dynamic. In the dream, did he mention buffaloes within the context of his tipi obsession? Or did he mention the French Revolution or Merlin of antiquity, for these are common themes with him? I see the tipi fixation as a metaphor for his disharmony with nature.”

Existentialistic podiatrist: "In my work with him, I was struck by his decidedly small-man complex. He does have remarkably small feet. In that way, I think he empathizes with Napoleon. Perhaps the tipi fixation comes from his sense of being forever a part or marginal player? Very strange case, there can be no doubt….”

Freudian therapist: "Yes, he is a complicated bundle of neurons. This is the case to win me the status I so deserve among my peers! Perhaps Hollywood will make a movie out of my work with him. They could call it A Pathetic Mind and star Russell Crowe as me, the therapist, Ed Harris, as the veterinarian, and Jennifer Connelly as the podiatrist, and starring Theodore Kaczynski as the aging mentally ill cyclist."

Therapy session #2
Secretary to therapist over the intercom: “Doctor, he is here. I checked on his insurance. He is good to go for twelve sessions…[Aging amateur cyclist shuffles in and lays down on the couch].

Freudian therapist: “How are you doing today? Where were we? Oh yes, you were going to start at the beginning. That is, the beginning of the Arrowhead 135. Tell me about this event. Were you able to enjoy healthy social intercourse with the other competitors? Did you use some of the coping mechanisms we worked on?”

Aging amateur cyclist suffering from bouts of both dementia and self-doubt: “Thank you sir, I am a bit better as I have been taking large daily doses of organic grain-based libations, which seem to calm my frayed nerves a bit. The pre-race festivities were great as I was able to see many old and fond acquaintances including Rick Mangan and Dave SimonsSimons is a young Jedi with a great future in intergalactic cycling events, two of my all time favorites from North Dakota, both valiantly fought with the Duke of Wellington at Waterloo; Lindsay Gauld—tantamount to Yoda and his friend Ian from Winnipeg. These boyz put on the Red Ass 300, plus they offer just about as great a company as a guy could wish for, Lindsay beat Bannister for the first man to run a 4 four minute mile; Josh Peterson and Dave Pramann, two gifted riders and men of high moral standing in their respective communities, both have developed a refined taste for aged Irish whiskey, and both rode with King Author of Round Table fame; Mike Remer of Salsa Bicycles. He helped to defeat Hannibal in the Alps while riding a Salsa single-speed; Dave Gray and his way cool Dad. Gray is the inventor of the Pugsley, wing man to Richard the Lion Hearted, and his father regularly dines with Rasputin; Pierre & Cheryl Ostor, they made it ALL happen, Peirre was close personal friends with Robespierre and Jean Paul Marat ; Don Clark (aka Gear Nazi); Jim Grijalva, a true intellectual who is making a career out of trying to assist others in matters of great complexity of which I am uncertain; Pat White (bike wizard extraordinaire and personal bike mechanic to Eddy Merckx); Pat Susnik, Jim Reed, Chris Finch, and A.H. rookies Cousin J, John Kurth, and Mike Stattelman all top notch men, proud Duluthians, and all active participants at the 1968 Summer of Love held in the Haight-Ashbury neighborhood of San Francisco!!!; Terry Brannick, a samurai ninja warrior and early suitor of Catherine the Great and his lovely lady friend from Romania; Greg Ames, a very impressive young pilot from ND with a future that is bright in enduro-cycling; Chuck Linder, the Northern Terror from Warroad and member of the inner circle of Chuck Norris' entourage; Bill Shand from way up North in Canada, fought with Crazy Horse at Little Big Horn; Ken Krueger, the Perpetual Motion Machine; Steven Moulds, a soft spoken ND sugar beet farmer with resolve not unlike that of hardened steel; Lance Andre, founder of the Triple D, force to be reckoned with on any race course, and samurai ninja with Jedi leanings, and several others that escape my memory. I also reconnected with several of the crazy running crowd including John Storkamp. Although, I have found that it is not a good idea to spend too much time with the runners or skiers as their fate is usually not good. There is an aura about them that is not unlike the feeling one senses that cattle may feel as they make their way up the slaughterhouse ramp. In any event, I love the positive vibe of pre-race informational meetings and this year’s was especially cool because of having Mike Curiak in attendance. Mr. Curiak is well known among cycling enduro-freaks as being the record holder of many amazing cycling feats of great distance, including the Alaskan and Yukon Classics and the Great Divide Race.”

Freudian therapist: “Were you nice to Mr. Curiak? Did you act appropriately? As you may recall, in past sessions we were able to work through some of your anti-social behaviors in terms of dealing with guyz that have way more testosterone than you.”

Aging amateur cyclist suffering from bouts of both dementia and self-doubt: “Well I must admit that at first I was hoping that he would be obscenely cocky or elitist or at least have bad teeth or a lisp or something a lesser guy could use to bring him down a peg or two. But I remembered our work and I remembered that I should not try to demean or bring quality people down to my level. So after a few seconds, I resigned myself to the fact that he was not only a great cyclist and man of adventure, but also a really nice guy. He gave an inspiring slide-show on his arctic travels and upon completion generously gave himself to the group, answering questions and listening to our little stories as well. I must say that I was very impressed with Mike Curiak as I am with all the guyz that finish the Arrowhead.”

Freudian therapist: “See your money is well spent here! What else, tell me about the start of the race. But remember, pay attention!...this is big, really big...REMEMBER that you are at your best when you are with people like the ones you have just described to me...”

Secretary on intercom: “Doctor, your next appointment is here.”

Aging amateur cyclist suffering from bouts of both dementia and self-doubt:”What? You gotta be kidding me! I just got here! How much did this cost me!”

Freudian therapist: “I am afraid that is all we have time for today. I will see you in two days. In the mean time, stay away from tipis and try to refrain from crepes in the early mornings. On your next visit we will discuss the first half of the race.”


  1. Charlie, I feel that what you have developing here could be your finest work to date. I can't describe my glee over the fact that you're blogging frequency has picked up again. Please keep it going. Your blog is to me like manna from heaven.


  2. HELL! you haven't even started talking about the race yet... get on with it... how much are you paying that guy? I want to know how this story ends... i cant wait.

  3. Sounds like 10 more sessions before the end Lance. You know this therapist is going to take full advantage of his insurance :)

    Great stuff Charlie!