Sunday, August 29, 2010

Whats it all really mean? If anything?

Sitting here late night, with a well lubricated brain, checking religiously from time to time via “Peak Timing” for updates on how my buddies and heroes, including Dave Schuneman, Chris Schotz, Charly Tri and Dan Dittmer, are fairing in the Salsa 24 hours @ Afton…I am struck with the absurdity of it all…and how I will be in the same boat here in just a week’s time…

Since the dawn of humanity, the March to Folly continues…
A man, especially an aged and/or delusional one, needs a plan, even if that plan is inherently flawed and/or foolhardy, (think of our two recent Presidents and their plans for our military to force a constitutional democracy and subsequent neighborly and lasting peace onto the “Republic of Iraq” or even a bigger stretch, forcing democracy, stability, and peace onto a systemically violent, fragmented, and tribal Afghanistan). Nevertheless, regardless of outcomes, it is always the case that a plan is better than no plan, always, even if the plan is based on faulty logic…Furthermore, in order to have a workable, albeit flawed/foolhardy plan; a guy needs a goal (or a mission) and then from there—strategies to achieve that goal or mission, and finally tactics by which to put the strategies into action so as to ultimately accomplish the goal or mission. Note: if the plan was solid, the goal should likewise need to be appropriately commiserate with ones societal & cultural ideologies, and maybe even morally correct and so forth, but in this particular case the whole thing is folly, and accordingly reason, logic, and/or ethics are not essential ingredients…again think recent US Policy in Afghanistan, Iraq, Israel, etc. or racing a bicycle for 24 hours straight around a short loop at a ski hill or the author continually setting out to race these long endurance contests at his age and talent-level...Itz all absurd!!!

Specifically within the context of this entry, when it comes to racing 24 hours on a mountain bike, the author needs a practical plan that is very simplistic and thus easy to follow as the cognitive skills of any and all cyclists in such endeavors are severely limited due to the physical strain involved. Ironically, the problem is compounded with experience and the onset of aging. Not surprisingly, diminished cognitive proficiencies are similar within the brains of those of whom administer and conduct wars, especially with those who have experience fighting war and yet continue to do so… Subsequently, if, like the author (and those that manage war), ones cognitive skills are from the get-go limited, the stress of going 24 hours nonstop on a bike (or waging wars for year upon year) compounds these limitations and renders one’s cognitive capacity to a level similar to that of an egg-plant. In any event, here is the author’s 24 Hours @ Seven Oaks plan-of-action (in hierarchical order):

I. Goal: The main goal is to simply finish within the top three places in the Solo 24 Category and to also, in the process, assist fellow DBDer, the talented Buffington, in winning the thing.

II. Strategies: Given the fact that I have done very little training of late, zero racing, and gained seven pounds+ since the beginning of August because of seemingly continuous issues related to our epic remodeling project (which had led to prodigious beer and junk-food intakes), coupled with the fact that my trusty Gunnar as been grounded for ten days or more, and now sent “away” to Waterford, Wisconsin for evaluation (I’ll discuss this later in detail once more info is available); the basis of my plan of attack to achieve my goals hinges on two very important presuppositions. Namely; 1.) Since I have not been training, or racing, only drinking and eating, I shall be arriving at Seven Oaks very well rested and fully hydrated and loaded to the gills with high quality barleys, hops, and malts (all excellent sources of carbohydrates); and 2.) Since my "once" trusty Gunnar is not available to race @ Seven Oaks, I shall be using a borrowed bike (Jason Buffington’s) which has suspension, gears, and smallish wheels. Although it was difficult, I have convinced myself that such a cushy configuration is advantageous over the rigid 29er Gunnar, given the lay of the Seven Oaks course. If race goes poorly for me, blame on the foreign bike.

III. Tactics: Continue to rely completely and wholeheartedly on the accuracy of an old scale in my closet which always puts my weight at a svelte 167; stay away from the accurate scale at work, until after the race. Use generous amounts of Bell’s Kalamazoo Stout and VIP pizza as main nutritional sources for the pre-race carbo-loading phase during the week leading up to the event. Feign mild heart attack early in the race while Buffington is still close by, with the hope that Buffington, (the physician) will trump Buffington (the competitor), causing him to stop and give me aid, thus slowing him to some degree. I had no success with this very tactic in last year's Arrowhead 135, but I do not learn from past experiences. If I did, I would have given up on 24 Hour races years ago. If the Man-child, Carney, is back, attempt to distract him as he laps me with various psychological strategies complied after years of dealing with high school students including “mooning him,” etc.

Congrats to all the competitors @ the Salsa 24 Hours Race….especially Danielle Musto…WOW!!!! She is on track to win it or second place!!! Or at least a finish in the top three!!! AMAZING Effort...

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

A MUST read....A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, by Betty Smith...five stars out of five stars

"Let me be something every minute of every hour of my life. Let me be happy; let me be sad. Let me be cold; let me be warm. Let me be hungry...have too much to eat. Let me be ragged or well dressed. Let me be sincere-be deceitful. Let me be truthful; let me be a liar. Let me be honorable and let me sin. Only let me be something every blessed minute. And when I sleep, let me dream all the time so that not one little piece of living is ever lost."
- Betty Smith, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, Ch. 48

Saturday, August 14, 2010

It is the END of the world as we know it!!! Headlines are grim...


WEMS Blue Mounds "hard-core" endurance race called off because it rained some on Friday...
Buffington subscribes to RV rags...seen recently at a KOA in a Good Sam jumpsuit...
Kershaw snubs DBD Leadership and names newly arrived off-spring, Silvia in spite of insider pressure to name the babe, "Mallory" or "Malloree"
Farrow enrolls off-spring in knitting clinic...and stays for initial session...
Sir Eki turns to "short-course" triathlon racing in wake of yet another WEMS cancellation...
Pramann dedicates himself to the pursuit of excellence in the mastering of cross-word puzzles...


Wednesday, August 11, 2010

A bright star flares out?

DBD Headquarters
Kitchee Gammi Club
c/o Sir Eki & Mr. Farrow

Dear Sirs: In brazen disregard for DBD protocol (and all that is proper and just), it has come to our attention that young Buffington has shamelessly purchased a Starcraft “pop-up” trailer and parked it ostentatiously in his front yard for the entire world to see. As you know, Ernest and I have a long and often heartbreaking history of standing with the both of you in your support of Mr. Buffington, but this recent transgression puts us in an untenable position. Mallory and his people are outraged and are calling for your talented, yet reckless youngster to be tarred and feathered. The matter has been officially discussed and the ambiance has not been favorable with a decidedly vindictive and punitive tone throughout. Due to the onset of tea time, the issue has been tabled until later in the week. Your only hope is that with ingestion of a few libations, Mallory and his people will strike a more tempered theme in terms of consequences. It would be a blow to the Club to lose such a talent, but with his brief and erratic career with the Club, his chances do not look good. Can you please speak with him in an attempt and call for reason, ASAP? Perhaps he could claim that it was a kind of ruse? Or an attempt at humor?
Concerned,
Tȟašúŋke Witkó (aka Crazy Horse)

Personal Commentary…
A fall from grace…when honor is lost what is left? Where have all the young heroes gone? Do we expect too much from our leading men/women? Above is just a sampling of my emotional queries upon hearing the Board’s initial decision on the Buffington Affair
My stout heart wept within when I heard the news, although outwardly I remained stoic as is our custom… Perhaps some chronological background information is needed to frame what has been a roller-coaster ride for the Northern Colony Chapter of the DBD of late in terms of dealing with this new and talented upstart.
With reservations, Buffington is invited to join the DBD after winning out in a controversial vote last January. Lead by Mallory and Tilman, concerns are raised regarding his role in the Heck of the North debacle, his unbridled propensity for running, coupled with disclosures of several demeaning remarks made to the media regarding the composition of the current living members of the DBD’s Northern Colony. Yet in the end, the Pro-Buffington contingency under the direction of Ernest Shackleton and Crazy Horse, narrowly wins out by extolling the young man’s ability to brew fine ales of all sorts and emphasizing his willingness to suffer wantonly and needlessly as exemplified by his finishing up the 75 mile Tuscobia on a skinny-tired bicycle whilst all other like-equipped competitors quit early on.
Immediately after his inception, the “yes” voters are heartened by Buffington’s effort at the Arrowhead 135 Classic, where he finished high up amongst a talented field and then tended to the aged and faltering Farrow (and his frost-ravaged toe). Nevertheless, with spring came renewed questions and accusations of acts of dishonor. Whilst other DBD men traveled to Red Wing to test there meddle at the demanding Ragnarok 105, Young Buffington went to Florida and was seen blatantly running barefoot and nearly naked there on the beach! Then whilst the Trans-Iowa fiasco wrought dishonor upon all members of the Northern Colony, savvy Buffington was able to astutely dodge most of the criticism by blaming the other more experienced members for the travesty at Grinnell…The leadership seemed to agree with him and used their precipitous scorn against Farrow and Eki, but the whole affair left a stain upon his record.
Subsequently as spring morphed into summer, as if to flaunt the DBD moral code of conduct, Buffington embarked on a public regimen of training for and running in marathons!!! Mallory was outraged and called from him to be censored, and then publicly drawn & quartered. But by this point, the young man had won over several high ranking members and they were able to overwhelm the calls for his demise…citing the unbridled exuberance of youth…
By summer, all transgressions were forgotten as Big Buff (as he became affectionately known) was dominating at two WEMS races. He won the single speed category at the challenging Thunderdown, even pushing the venerable DBD stalwart, Sir Eki, for the top overall finish. After which he flew at the demanding Levis 100 finishing an amazing second overall on a single-speed. Then at the 24 Hours @ 9 Mile, he finished an outstanding 2nd place behind the stallion, Stawicki, and 3rd overall!!! The future looked bright for him…
But now this??? Oh the shame of it all!!!! Yet, do we expect too much from our youth these dayz…Please share your thoughts…Should Buffington be thrown out of the DBD? Does his acquisition of the "pop-up" trailer go to far? Mallory likened it to carrying bottled oxygen whilst climbing...Oh the shame!!! Tilman compared it with having a motor-engine installed on one's sailing craft...Or should the Club once again bend itz rules to accommodate the ever changing modern world…First suspension bikes, then carbon, now POP UP TRAILERS??? What next????

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Updates...

Not much happening 'round here...in brief:

1.) Got a good one in on Wednesday, whereby I rode about 75-to-80% of the 100 mile+ Heck of the North course with a bunch of great guys from Ely, Grand Marais, and Duluth. It was very hot & windy, and because I had to be back at 3:30 I had to bail early. So on Friday morning, solo, I back tracked and rode the last half of the course in relatively good time as the weather was perfect. The Heck of the North course is unique to the Midwestern gravel road routes that I am familiar with, in that it is decidedly not farm country. Also, there are three short, but tough sections of squalidness on the course that can help to even up the playing field to some extent as there are long sections that could favor the pure roadie-types...

As of last week the first squalid section was quite ride-able except for a brief swampy pond that required a quick dismount. Yet the last two sections consisted of pure squalor forcing one to dismount many times and hiking-the-bike through high grasses, complete with swampy morasses and unforgiving hummocks.

October 2nd is the date and itz gonna be a great one!!! Bravo Mr. Kershaw!!!

2.) Been reading some really good books of late: Right now I am working through Betty Smith's, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. This is a great work of American Literature and in my mind should rank up there with To Kill a Mockingbird or the equivalent.

3.) As of Saturday, for the first time since before the Trans-Iowa, this week I have broken the 20 hour barrier for training rides and more importantly, I have further regained my excitement for racing, which has suffered since completion of mid-June's Trans Wisconsin and compounded by my poor showing a few weeks ago at the Levis-Trow 100. Due to all the construction on our house and the headaches that come with it, I am limiting myself to racing just the 24 Hours @ Seven Oaks for the remainder of the summer season. To prepare for the 24 hours trial, I plan to concentrate on longer rides on single-track. As alluded to above I am also totally pumped for the Heck of the North, December's Tuscobia 150, and the classic 2011 Arrowhead 135...

4.) We have watched several films of late with adult themes as off-spring was off to YMCA camp including the Swedish film, Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and Shutter Island. The Swedish work was top-notch and highly entertaining if somewhat disturbing, while Shutter Island was an utter failure and cannot be recommended...

5.) I am still trying to get at writing up that last chapter in what will surely go down as the highlight race of the 2010 Summer season for the author; namely The Trans-Wisconsin. Once school starts, I will surely have more ambition to really sit down and put pen to paper in an attempt to convey the surreality of those last hours of that epic experience that I shared with Jeremy Kershaw...

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Jason Buffington of the DBD currently holding on to second place at the 24 Hours @ 9 Mile...

Whilst mowing my smallish lawn yesterday around dusk under the watchful eye of a discerning wife, I felt a slight fatigue in me legs and thus stopped for a brief respite. Suddenly a salty, incomprehensible watery solution began to fill my eyes...Confused, I first thought that a remnant of what is left of my house had flown into my eyes, but then reality struck. I knew that it was the bittersweet tears of the aged and washed-out warrior...For in that moment, I was confronted with an inescapable truth: That as I grumbled and tottered about mowing my little lawn, my DBD comrade was well into the most manly of endeavors--24 hours @ 9 Mile...Whilst I complain about a little mundane yardwork, BRAVE Buffington is fighting the devilish and unrelenting foes of physical exhaustion and mental doubt...Humbled, I pressed on with the mowing, but with a gait that revealed a pride in having trained with that man...such is the only comfort available to a domesticated man, a man well past his prime...with a bleak future filled only with yardwork and the like....

Update: (Sunday, 8:00 a.m.)
With just four hours left, Buffington is in second place behind the formidable Ron Stawicki....such honor is a rare thing! Bravo Buffington!!! Capital Effort!!!