Wednesday, August 11, 2010

A bright star flares out?

DBD Headquarters
Kitchee Gammi Club
c/o Sir Eki & Mr. Farrow

Dear Sirs: In brazen disregard for DBD protocol (and all that is proper and just), it has come to our attention that young Buffington has shamelessly purchased a Starcraft “pop-up” trailer and parked it ostentatiously in his front yard for the entire world to see. As you know, Ernest and I have a long and often heartbreaking history of standing with the both of you in your support of Mr. Buffington, but this recent transgression puts us in an untenable position. Mallory and his people are outraged and are calling for your talented, yet reckless youngster to be tarred and feathered. The matter has been officially discussed and the ambiance has not been favorable with a decidedly vindictive and punitive tone throughout. Due to the onset of tea time, the issue has been tabled until later in the week. Your only hope is that with ingestion of a few libations, Mallory and his people will strike a more tempered theme in terms of consequences. It would be a blow to the Club to lose such a talent, but with his brief and erratic career with the Club, his chances do not look good. Can you please speak with him in an attempt and call for reason, ASAP? Perhaps he could claim that it was a kind of ruse? Or an attempt at humor?
Tȟašúŋke Witkó (aka Crazy Horse)

Personal Commentary…
A fall from grace…when honor is lost what is left? Where have all the young heroes gone? Do we expect too much from our leading men/women? Above is just a sampling of my emotional queries upon hearing the Board’s initial decision on the Buffington Affair
My stout heart wept within when I heard the news, although outwardly I remained stoic as is our custom… Perhaps some chronological background information is needed to frame what has been a roller-coaster ride for the Northern Colony Chapter of the DBD of late in terms of dealing with this new and talented upstart.
With reservations, Buffington is invited to join the DBD after winning out in a controversial vote last January. Lead by Mallory and Tilman, concerns are raised regarding his role in the Heck of the North debacle, his unbridled propensity for running, coupled with disclosures of several demeaning remarks made to the media regarding the composition of the current living members of the DBD’s Northern Colony. Yet in the end, the Pro-Buffington contingency under the direction of Ernest Shackleton and Crazy Horse, narrowly wins out by extolling the young man’s ability to brew fine ales of all sorts and emphasizing his willingness to suffer wantonly and needlessly as exemplified by his finishing up the 75 mile Tuscobia on a skinny-tired bicycle whilst all other like-equipped competitors quit early on.
Immediately after his inception, the “yes” voters are heartened by Buffington’s effort at the Arrowhead 135 Classic, where he finished high up amongst a talented field and then tended to the aged and faltering Farrow (and his frost-ravaged toe). Nevertheless, with spring came renewed questions and accusations of acts of dishonor. Whilst other DBD men traveled to Red Wing to test there meddle at the demanding Ragnarok 105, Young Buffington went to Florida and was seen blatantly running barefoot and nearly naked there on the beach! Then whilst the Trans-Iowa fiasco wrought dishonor upon all members of the Northern Colony, savvy Buffington was able to astutely dodge most of the criticism by blaming the other more experienced members for the travesty at Grinnell…The leadership seemed to agree with him and used their precipitous scorn against Farrow and Eki, but the whole affair left a stain upon his record.
Subsequently as spring morphed into summer, as if to flaunt the DBD moral code of conduct, Buffington embarked on a public regimen of training for and running in marathons!!! Mallory was outraged and called from him to be censored, and then publicly drawn & quartered. But by this point, the young man had won over several high ranking members and they were able to overwhelm the calls for his demise…citing the unbridled exuberance of youth…
By summer, all transgressions were forgotten as Big Buff (as he became affectionately known) was dominating at two WEMS races. He won the single speed category at the challenging Thunderdown, even pushing the venerable DBD stalwart, Sir Eki, for the top overall finish. After which he flew at the demanding Levis 100 finishing an amazing second overall on a single-speed. Then at the 24 Hours @ 9 Mile, he finished an outstanding 2nd place behind the stallion, Stawicki, and 3rd overall!!! The future looked bright for him…
But now this??? Oh the shame of it all!!!! Yet, do we expect too much from our youth these dayz…Please share your thoughts…Should Buffington be thrown out of the DBD? Does his acquisition of the "pop-up" trailer go to far? Mallory likened it to carrying bottled oxygen whilst climbing...Oh the shame!!! Tilman compared it with having a motor-engine installed on one's sailing craft...Or should the Club once again bend itz rules to accommodate the ever changing modern world…First suspension bikes, then carbon, now POP UP TRAILERS??? What next????


  1. Please forward all corresponence to my room at the Duluth infirmary known as St. Luke's ICU.


    Sir Eki

  2. You are being unfair, he might have bought a motorhome with (gasp) air-conditioning!!! What a great thing to have to rest in at a 24 hour race. You would all be jealous :) JP

  3. "What a great thing...for a 24 hour race." Such is the case to made for the ever expanding embracement of all things related to comfort!!! I say if you want comfort stay home and have you bikini line waxed!!!

  4. If you let this ride, the next thing you know the DBD will be sponsoring triathons and even duoathons...enough is enough...Throw him out!!!
    Bill Tilman

  5. Could someone have him take it down! It's screwing up the whole block. What an eyesore!


  6. I bet he pulls that thing to NASCAR events!

  7. It was in that trailer, where Lance and Buffington got me doped up for the Tour!!!
    Floyd Landis

  8. Gentlemen, in regards to the Buffington Affair you have a firm grip on the wrong end of the stick. The purposes of this pop up trailer are not for rest and relaxation but as a training apparatus. I have seen some men train whilst pulling light trailers containing small children. This is the equivelent of riding a pony whilst brandishing a stick and calling oneself a knight. Buffington, however, has acquired a pop up trailer and has been seen towing it behind his bicycle up and down various large hills with abandon.

    Stowed within the trailer are the materials needed to brew higher potency spirits than is normally allowed by the establishment. I myself have heard the tinkling and clanking of glass tubes and jars as the trailer swept by. I believe Buffington intends to ultimately deposit the pop up deep within the woods as a quiet retreat away from the prying eyes of those in authority. Only when away from the view of sunshine can one brew the best moonshine.

  9. I feel that the DBD is just doing all these things to distract the likes of Joe Meiser for the upcoming TRans Iowa. All this is a big smokescreen to distract the new father while the DBD goes on Slender Fungus style training missions in the middle of the night. Jason has just been used in all this and should be pardoned but at least put on suspension.
    Slender Fungus cycling Association.

  10. Back in my day, there was a reason one of the more common tent trailers were named "Nimrod".
    elder dbd member