I once rode my bicycle, now I walk the dog! Just say "NO" to the urge to get a dog!!!!

As you may recall from an earlier report, my new constant companion, Loki, has adopted a lifestyle that celebrates what Freud would call an “unbridled” Id in which he operates completely on spontaneous hedonistic urges. Lately, Loki has begun to exert his developing manhood in inappropriate ways including shocking physical acts not unlike that seen during an Elvis routine back when The KING was at the very peak of his prowess.

Disregarding all sense of honor and/or civility, yesterday as Loki impatiently dragged me along a scenic pathway, we encountered a pair of comely co-eds from nearby UMD, without hesitation Loki immediately jumped up onto the more buxom of the duo and started what can only be described as a full-fledged rendition of Elvis’ “Burning Love,” including outrageous gyrations and... you get the picture!

Lord Almighty,
I feel my temperature rising
Higher higher
It's burning through to my soul
Girl, girl, girl
You gonna set me on fire
My brain is flaming
I don't know which way to go
Your kisses lift me higher
Like the sweet song of a choir
You light my morning sky
With burning love
Ooh, ooh, ooh,
I feel my temperature rising
Help me, I'm flaming
I must be a hundred and nine
Burning, burning, burning
And nothing can cool me
I just might turn into smoke
But I feel fine
Cause your kisses lift me higher
Like a sweet song of a choir
And you light my morning sky
With burning love
It's coming closer
The flames are now licking my body
and won't you help me
I feel like I'm slipping away
It's hard to breathe
And my chest is a-heaving
Lord have mercy,
I'm burning a hole where I lay
Cause your kisses lift me higher
Like the sweet song of a choir
You light my morning sky
With burning love
With burning love
Ah, ah, burning love
I'm just a hunk, a hunk of burning love
Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love
Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love
Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love
Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love
Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love
Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love

Outwardly, I was mortified, as were the two girls…And yet inwardly, deep within the darkest confines of my "caged" ego-driven psyche, I fought the urge to smile...Ultimately as a reflective, sensitive 21st Century Man, I had to admit a tinge of envy for his boldness. Perhaps deep-down, I yearned to live the life of the Id-driven animal, to live as the Cave Man lived-- free from the bounds of civilization... Such is my life as a man-servant…for mine is not to reason why, mine is to escort Loki...help me..........