Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Now you know the REST of the Story...

The following are recent excerpts from the minutes of a DBD Honor Board Hearing-

In an effort to begin in earnest the preparation for the upcoming spring gravel-road classics, including the 320 mile Trans-Iowa, a like-minded contingency of five cyclists left the shadows of the Billy Irvin at 5:00 a.m. on this last Saturday with the stated aim to complete a 140 mile loop that includes a crossing of the fabled Laurentian Divide…

Sir Eki provides a fairly accurate depiction of the trials and tribulations experienced during the excursion, so the author will not bore you with redundancy (See “…Sasquatch” via
Note to Board Members: Please take the time to read Sir Eki’s entire narrative as therein contains many indications of a man endowed with great talent. And yet there is also an important lesson in which this brave man has thus far failed to comprehend. I relate this deficit to you, Dear Members of the Honor Board, not to chastise nor degrade Sir Eki, nor to call for punitive actions against him, nor his conspirator, young Kershaw, but to simply provide you with a glimpse into the working minds of true leaders of men and how they are able to mold future leaders through the advent of experiential life-lessons. For we all know that Mallory was correct in his assertion that “The number one aim of a good leader of Men is to create more leaders of Men.”

In his rambling narrative, Sir Eki states, “…Farrow, Hendricks, and Peterson inexplicably dipped into a gas station in Two Harbors for coffee, while Kershaw followed my lead to push on. I didn't want the group to separate, but coffee???? Kershaw and I rationalized the decision to leave them with comments about training and the importance of keeping moving as it was sure to be a very long day. "We CAN'T keep stopping, we won't finish until 5:00 in the afternoon," I vented! Kershaw nervously followed suit with similar comments, but I sensed he didn't trust my mood. What was really happening to me was I was losing feeling in my hands and I was taking it out on the coffee clutch.”

As with any paternalistic, masculine tribe, the DBD leadership has various tests within itz repertoire designed to educate or “bring along” talented men with potential leadership skills. Farrow, with Hendrick's nod, decided to initiate the classic deceptive ruse by feigning the need for coffee as the group entered Two Harbors. The goal being to test to see if Eki—who could one day enjoy a DBD leadership position, should he continue to progress—would wantonly abandon his men in search of paltry, ill-gainedglory.” “Watch and see Eki take the bait when we get to Two Harbors and we three make for the gas station,” one elder was heard whispering to the other. Eki did not disappoint, for he fell for the simple subterfuge hook-line-and-sinker! As the rambunctious youth bolted with a hesitant Kershaw in tow, the two wizened cyclists were charitable in their assessments, whilst the youthful and promising Peterson wisely withheld commentary. “All the fast ones can be impetuous, which is not necessarily a bad thing in this game, and such is the state of youthfulness, letz let him go for awhile and see if he reconsiders and then waits for us” was how Mr. Hendricks graded the performance. Whilst Mr. Farrow was less diplomatic calling Eki a “bloody cur! ” The story does end well with Sir Eki waiting for the others, realizing his ambitious zeal had forced him to forsake his charges…Upon reunification, Eki was humble in learning is lesson...clearly a major move upward for this potential leader of MEN...

… As with all paternalistic, masculine tribes, the DBD has various traditions, ceremonies, rituals designed to celebrate fallen members. As the Men came upon a lonely cemetery along a remote gravel section of the loop, they all felt a strange need to pull up and wander forth through this resting place of the deceased. Suddenly, a spontaneous, yet moving and solemn proceeding was performed to celebrate the grand achievements of one recently departed member. Coined, “Ode to the Riderless Cycle” the three that knew him well offered stirring soliloquies honoring his fabled amicable nature and his tremendous feats of endurance. As they hastily departed the grim scene, Farrow was heard to utter, “He is with the runners now! Oh the shame of it all!”

1 comment:

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