Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Trans-Iowa Transgressions: Part I: Time is Finite...
Part I: Making Summits matter in mountaineering, just as making
the finish line matters in the Trans‑Iowa.
Either way, if you don’t make the goal, you fail.
Every dead hope is a phantom that grimaces over its tomb.
EDWIN LEIBFREED,
"The White Feet of the Morrow"
I stared again,
concentrating with rapt attention on my watch, my eyes hurt, my sight was
blurry, slow to focus, my hands were shaky, but the conclusion was undeniable. It was seventeen or sixteen minutes before
2:00 pm last Sunday, I was not going to make it. I had burned my last match a
few miles back down the road, I was finished.
The music in my head went dead. I was done. I was neither happy nor sad,
I felt nothing…I stopped pedaling, and put my feet down on the ground. I hesitated
and sorta looked around, it was a weird, surreal moment, for I had not really looked
around all that much whilst I was on the move.
Even the relentless wind seemed to pause…It felt strange to not be on the move...
Like an old automaton
from a less complicated era, I stiffly climbed off my old trusty single-speed Kelly
‘cross bike and let it fall over into the grass. I pulled off my mud caked camelback
and tossed it on the grass as well. I did the same with my helmet. My body was
heavy and unwieldy, so I sat down hard, almost uncontrollably, on the grass
next to my artifacts of a T.I. battle fought and lost. I was sitting up on the side of a rural, nondescript
hilly gravel road near to Grinnell, Iowa.
Finally after hours
upon hours of fighting it, I let gravity take me and before I knew it I was
laying flat out on my back with my legs straight out. The cessation of movement
was so wonderful, so satisfying, that I just laid there and relished, at the most
basic primordial level, the calm sense of being; a sense of uncomplicated existence
washed over me, nothing really to think about other than the sheer experience
of being alive in the moment and being able to draw in a breathe of air.
I laid there in an
exquisite comatose for what turned out to be only a few minutes, but this quiet
time allowed me to clear my head. Again, I automatically checked my watch, it
was just a few minutes before 2:00 pm; the race was still on. A fleeting
thought of serendipitous optimism: Did I still have a chance? Reality quickly
re-emerged; I was less than six miles from the finish of the tenth running of
the classic Trans-Iowa, but I knew now beyond any doubt that I was not going to
make it in to the finish line by the cut-off.
Momentarily I thought of
calling Guitar Ted, the iconic race director, to plead for just another
hour. My head was clear enough to know
that I’d need another hour even though I was only six miles out; I was going
that slowly. I thought about using some
kind of lame excuse about how old I am or how the single speeders should get extra-time,
or how he could put a footnote by my name designating me an “unofficial”
finisher. But as I labored to cognitively
construct a reasonable argument to present to him, I became to realize
unequivocally that such a request would only force him into the difficult and incredibly
unfair position of having to tell me, “no.” My conclusion was sound; it is his
race, his rules, his parameters, and I respect him way more than some displaced
need that I may have about being able to claim my efforts during this race as being
legitimate within the context of the rules of the Trans-Iowa. The rules state that the race ends after 34 hours at 2:00 pm on Sunday, even in my devolved state I could understand that fact...So...Instead, I did the right thing; I called my buddy, Jeremy Kershaw, and asked
him to come get me. I told him that was
just up the road. I’d be the guy in the
ditch, covered in barn-yard muck, laying next to a bike and some other muddy
and wet gear. So it goes….
Stay tuned for Part II in the very near
future…
Part II: Optimism runs HIGH: The
beginning of the tenth running of the Trans-Iowa. Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of
things, and good things never die (from Shawshenk Redemption)
“Somewhere between the bottom of the
climb and the summit is the answer to the mystery of why we climb."
— Greg Child.
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Charlie,
ReplyDeleteThis is Jake Kruse of the Slender Fungus. I last saw you in the hotel after TI, and before that at the mile 184 convenience store. I could not get your smile out of my head, it was great to see such positivity at that point in the event. I am sorry to hear how your ride ended in defeat, but I look forward to hearing your story. What a weekend.
Kudos, man. This one sounds like it was a brutal one.
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