Friday, June 6, 2014
Trans Iowa Part III "Come in," they moooo-ed. "We'll give you shelter from the storm."
Sorry for the substantial delay in submitting Part III of my personal
narrative involving the running of the Trans-Iowa. In my defense, I have been
super busy getting my dear Seniors ready for graduating from Esko High School. Here is an observation just to set the record
straight, today’s youth are just as compassionate and connected to the world
around them as we ever were. Of course, that’s not necessarily something to
brag about, still I find joy and humor in my interactions with the vast
majority of the teenagers that I deal with each and every day. Don’t believe me? Check out this recent article,
published by The Dailybeast (http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/05/28/today-s-clean-cut-teens-less-sex-less-drugs.html
).
During these last few dayz I have
spent with these fledgling adults, one message to them was to quote from the
great American poet who just recently passed away; namely Maya Angelo— “Most people don’t grow up. Most people age.
They find parking spaces, honor their credit cards, get married, have children,
and call that maturity. What this is, is
aging.”
Appropriately,
I then cautioned them to resist the insidious, but all too common inclination
of modern adulthood. Which is to continuously complicate their lives with superfluous
endeavors and ravenous consumption. I offered several examples as my starting point for
an emotional long-winded rant, one was about the current state of cycling. One of which
was the absurdity of the marketing of shiny widgets and techno-contrivances the
bike industry offers up to the fanatical consuming bikers each year. This year’s gadgets include offering digital
derailleurs that will save you a ton of weight and only cost $800... Ultimately
beseeching my captive audience to join me in my quest to start a Neo-Luddite
movement where simplistic micro-communities reign, where people engage in
face-to-face conversations about books their reading, and where the populace
doesn’t buy into every new and shiny trinket the capitalists’ offer up for mass
consumption…But I digress…
Perhaps
it is a good thing that I have had several weeks to gain perspective on the
running of the tenth Trans-Iowa. On
reflection, one thing that pops into my mind is how hobbled I have become in
the last few years and how much faster the fast guyz have gotten. Back in the day, if the conditions were
doable, I would race the Trans-Iowa with an eye on finishing up in the top five
or at least in the top ten, of course back then it attracted only the most
dysfunctional and marginalized of Midwestern riders—in the early races, normal
people did not sign up for the Trans-Iowa.
It is
to Guitar Ted’s credit and commitment to the absurdly irrational, that this
race still attracts a relative high number of nerd-do-wells, bohemians, and
misfits—it’s why I keep coming down to Iowa every April. I suspect it is also why many of you also come
back each year or want to experience the event in the future. Just think about
it; early on, some ten years ago, back then when GT and his buddies put this
thing into motion, if you were a really talented cyclist with a bright future
ahead of you, you would not risk it on such an unglamorous and potentially
damaging event as the Trans-Iowa! Even
today, where the canvas is a different color; wherein gravel endurance events
have become vogue, and consequently expensive, even extravagant affairs. Where
“the Industry” produces special carbon and titanium bikes made specifically for
gravel; cutting edge bikes that one can pay many thousands of dollars for…All
in an effort to enjoy an advantage over those other old men in one’s age group
and also where full-on sponsored pros grace the tops of the results page. No
the Trans-Iowa is not a glitzy affair or a big production and I doubt it will
ever be and that is just fine by me. And I suspect you agree with me. The Trans Iowa is about defeating ones demons…Defeating them alone with no fanfare or support!
In any
event, this year I rode solely with the goal being to just try and finish the
damned thing. When I think about how
fast the top guyz were going this year, even against very significant headwinds,
including the performance by Troy Krause on a single speed, (not to mention
Barre riding a fixed gear bike), it really puts my forlorn effort into
perspective. It should come as no
surprise, but for those of you that don’t know me personally, I have never been
“exceptional” at anything in my long life, but due to several recent debacles
(this race included) I have grown even more humble in the assessment of my
achievements and yet also more respectful of the really exceptional
achievements of those of whom I have known over the years. In the context of the Trans-Iowa, I am
thinking of two guyz associated with this event over the years. In my mind, Troy Krause and Mike Johnson have
become synonymous with the characteristics needed to do well in this event,
namely mental toughness and physical perseverance. This year they once again
turned in most impressive results.
To be
honest when I think about this year’s Trans-Iowa, essentially three
peculiarities come to mind. The first
two were essentially acts of God while the third involves a reaction or a
manifestation of these acts of God. I
remember strong headwinds. You know, the
kind of incessant wind that make that distressingly disturbing relentless roaring
sound in ones helmet, all the time wearing steadily away at the resolve of even
the most stoic of willful riders. The second
was the rain that came with nightfall. The third was the generosity of cows...
At one
point, well into the evening hours, the rains became torrential and spiteful in
its delivery. At its peak, the downpour was
so intense that Jay Barre and I sought “shelter from the storm” within a large
metal sided barn-like structure. The
large barn doors were locked, but the doors were old and badly rotted away at
their base, allowing for a jagged gap just large enough to allow us the
opportunity to squeeze through, crawling through the barnyard muck on our stomachs.
Once inside we were treated to a small mountain of fresh hay bales and a
gathering of scared calves. I nodded a sincere
salutation in the general direction of our newly befriended bovines, grabbed a
few broken hay bales and fashioned a soft bed. Resting my old bones in the
supine position, I smiled the smile of sweet salvation. Nothing mattered to me
at that brief moment of respite other than the contentment of non-movement and good cheer directed towards my partner. I looked over at the youthful Barre, who was involuntarily nodding,
fighting the good fight to stay awake. I
remember thinking that it doesn’t get any better than this…
At this
late date, that’s what I most vividly remember about the tenth running of the
Trans-Iowa. Hanging out with Jay Barre, late night or maybe early morning, in
that barn with the cowering cows, while the Demons of Despair outside tried to conquer us…
Friday, May 2, 2014
Part 2: Perhaps a little context would be helpful?
Part II: Some context or “How I came to lie down upon the fresh grass on
that lonely road, just six miles from my goal of finishing the tenth running of
the Trans-Iowa.”
… Learning is defined as “a modification of a behavioral tendency by
experience (as exposure to conditioning).” Basically what I get from that
is that learnin’ involves not making the same mistake over and over
again. So based on that definition, I not be a “learneded” man, cuzin’ if
I was… I’d NOT keep headin’ down to Grinnell, Iowa nearly every spring in
search of clarity through sufferin’. Whilst my memory is not a personal
characteristic that I am proud of, to the best of my recollections, I’ve have
now made the late April trip down to Iowa on five occasions to partake in
Guitar Ted’s Classic Gravel suffer-fest and to the best of my knowledge I ain’t
any better elucidated than had I stayed home…
The first time I tried the Trans-Iowa, I did Okay, plus I got away with a
respectable effort by tucking behind two better cyclists than I’ll ever be (or
was): One of them was this amazingly strong young buck named John Gorilla and
the other was an enduro-machine from Michigan that was on a SS Gary Fisher
Superfly 29er. The conditions were tough (very windy, wet, and cold), but
not too tough, so we were going well, putting a lot of time on the rest of the
couple remaining riders, one of whom was the indomitable Charles Parsons…Then
suddenly and anticlimactically, in the later evening hours of that Saturday
night (the bars were still open, but it was late out, maybe 10 or 11 pm or 18
or so hours into it), GT had to call the race because of an impasse up the
road. A bridge had washed out and there was no way to change the racecourse, so
late into the event. So I walked away from that one not too
damaged. One lesson not learned the first time was: There is a BIG
difference between riding for eighteen hours and riding for more than
twenty-eight hours or even more. I guess I didn’t realize that as I made the
drive back home to Duluth after that first effort.
The next time (I think it was the following April), nearly killed me. The
only time I have been nearer to death during a bike race was during the
Tuscobia some years back (but thatz another story). Like the year before,
I went out with the leaders, trying to ride with Joe Meiser, Dave Praman, and
my training partner, Tim Ek. Meiser and Pramann attacked early in the
race, Eki and I were in the right place, so we went them and thus the foursome
put some major time on the rest of the field. During the daylight hour of
that perfect Saturday, Eki and I were just along for the ride, barely hanging
on. Eki got a flat and got dropped, but bravely fought his way back to the
three of us. Ultimately Eki was strong enough to hold on, and the three
of them lead by the Über strong Meiser went on to collectively ride an
impressive winning time of just over 25 hours or something incredible like
that…I got dropped about ten or so hours into it and then really struggled. It
was not a pretty sight; a grown man sprawled out on a lonely gravel road,
barely strong enough to endure the dry-heaves. I had gone out way
too fast and was completely shattered, especially during the dreaded nighttime
hours. Four things saved me: 1.) The conditions were really good; 2.)
Even though with the setting of the sun, I was alone, I didn’t get lost during
the night; 3.) I’d built up a lot of cushion in terms of time to spare, when I
was riding with the winners, so I was able to take a reinvigorating two or
three hour nap in a cemetery and still stay within the time constraint; and 4.)
I was lucky enough that with the rising sun, I was able to latch on to a group
of three or four guyz. These three factors allowed me to make the finish
line, but I was incredibly fatigued and swore I’d never do another Trans-Iowa.
It is important to note that Ben Shockey was amongst the riders that finished
that year—He rode the course on a fixed gear bike!
Of course, I did not learn my lesson and so I headed
down to Iowa again the next year. The third Trans-Iowa, I tried was
probably the one that I was most ready for in terms of fitness. Four of
us from Duluth had trained hard all winter and we collectively felt like we
could influence the race given our fitness and experience. Jason Buffington was along as
was Eki, both endurance machines with the horse-power to win the race. I was probably the most in shape I’d been in
20 years. My altruistic plan was to try
and help either Buffington or Eki (or best case scenario: both) win the thing
and in doing so, to personally finish in the top five. The problem was that the conditions were
horrendous including biblical rains a subsequent very soft track. But even so, we were doing well and making
good time. Only Gorrilla and Meiser were
a little wayz ahead of our chase group that included Lance Andre, Charley Tri,
Eki, Buffington, and me as we headed into the 2nd check point. I was feeling good, the best I have ever felt
in a Trans Iowa, so good that I began to believe that we could pull of a top
finish. But alas the rains began again
in earnest, to the point that even Buffington (Buffington never ever quits)
became convinced that there was no way that the race could continue. His assessment was that given the time
constraint of 34 hours combined with the incredibly slow conditions, the only
conclusion was that no one would make the full course. The consensus was that to continue on with
the certainty of not making the cut-off was foolhardy. Mieser, Gorilla, and few other guyz rode up
the route for another hour or so, but they too pulled out at the next
town. It was the third Trans-Iowa in
which nobody finished.
Once again I did not learn my lesson in 2011, so
I headed down, down, down yet another time to battle the gravel in April
2012. As stated recently in a post I
made the same mistakes of going out too hard and then getting hopelessly
lost. They picked me up in a car and rode me home in dishonor...
In 2013, I was too wiped out from the Iditarod
Trail Invitational to even attempt the Trans-Iowa.
Which brings me to the 2014 version of the Trans-Iowa from the
perspective of one use to seating in the cheap seats. Armed with my
propensity to not learn from my previous mistakes coupled with my forgetful
nature, I began to plan this year’s version without a care in the world.
The whole drive-train on my old trusty titanium Merlin was sorely in need
of replacement, to the degree that I doubted it could make the 300+ rugged
miles associated with the typical Trans Iowa, so I did the rational thing for a
man without any extra monies and limited cognitive skills. I decided to run my
old Kelly single speed, the bike I use all winter to commute. I figured,
“how hard can it be?” Trying to be smart about committing to riding a
singlespeed in the T.I., I figured a smart guy would ask his even smarter
buddies about what they thought about the idea. Isn’t that what smart people
do? Smart people ask even smarter people for advice. So, I asked my buddy Tim
Ek what he thought about the idea, when his advice was not what I wanted to
hear, I forgot about it and never asked him again. I asked my buddy
Jeremy Kershaw about what he thought about my choice of gearing, when he
indicated that he felt I was going with a gearing that was too stout, I forgot
about it and never asked him again.
The more I considered my plan, the more it made sense to me, and the
smarter I began to feel. When I heard that the youthful and talented Jay
Barre of the secretive Slender Fungus was going to run a fixed gear bike at the
T.I. my heart soared. I quickly emailed him and asked for his
advice. I figured, by that point, that if I was being smart about riding
a single speed, then that must make Jay a bonafide genius for riding a
fixie. What developed was a kind of intellectual synergy betwixt the two
of us smart people, since I had a smart guy to advise me, I no longer needed to
consult with the guyz that I normally ride with up here in Duluth. I knew
that a guy that was going to ride a bike for 343 miles on a bike of which one
could neither shift gears or coast had to be a genius. Jay Barre was very
helpful in sealing my fate for the T.I. #10….Thank you Mr. Barre…(looking back
I guess I never considered that he was way way stronger than me?)
So I arrived to the quaint little college town of Grinnell, Iowa
fired up to battle the hilly gravel road of Iowa…no worse from the wear of four
previous efforts. Did I mention that I love this race?
Look for Part III in a couple dayz…
Part III: The race begins on a beautiful spring
morning……
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Trans-Iowa Transgressions: Part I: Time is Finite...
Part I: Making Summits matter in mountaineering, just as making
the finish line matters in the Trans‑Iowa.
Either way, if you don’t make the goal, you fail.
Every dead hope is a phantom that grimaces over its tomb.
EDWIN LEIBFREED,
"The White Feet of the Morrow"
I stared again,
concentrating with rapt attention on my watch, my eyes hurt, my sight was
blurry, slow to focus, my hands were shaky, but the conclusion was undeniable. It was seventeen or sixteen minutes before
2:00 pm last Sunday, I was not going to make it. I had burned my last match a
few miles back down the road, I was finished.
The music in my head went dead. I was done. I was neither happy nor sad,
I felt nothing…I stopped pedaling, and put my feet down on the ground. I hesitated
and sorta looked around, it was a weird, surreal moment, for I had not really looked
around all that much whilst I was on the move.
Even the relentless wind seemed to pause…It felt strange to not be on the move...
Like an old automaton
from a less complicated era, I stiffly climbed off my old trusty single-speed Kelly
‘cross bike and let it fall over into the grass. I pulled off my mud caked camelback
and tossed it on the grass as well. I did the same with my helmet. My body was
heavy and unwieldy, so I sat down hard, almost uncontrollably, on the grass
next to my artifacts of a T.I. battle fought and lost. I was sitting up on the side of a rural, nondescript
hilly gravel road near to Grinnell, Iowa.
Finally after hours
upon hours of fighting it, I let gravity take me and before I knew it I was
laying flat out on my back with my legs straight out. The cessation of movement
was so wonderful, so satisfying, that I just laid there and relished, at the most
basic primordial level, the calm sense of being; a sense of uncomplicated existence
washed over me, nothing really to think about other than the sheer experience
of being alive in the moment and being able to draw in a breathe of air.
I laid there in an
exquisite comatose for what turned out to be only a few minutes, but this quiet
time allowed me to clear my head. Again, I automatically checked my watch, it
was just a few minutes before 2:00 pm; the race was still on. A fleeting
thought of serendipitous optimism: Did I still have a chance? Reality quickly
re-emerged; I was less than six miles from the finish of the tenth running of
the classic Trans-Iowa, but I knew now beyond any doubt that I was not going to
make it in to the finish line by the cut-off.
Momentarily I thought of
calling Guitar Ted, the iconic race director, to plead for just another
hour. My head was clear enough to know
that I’d need another hour even though I was only six miles out; I was going
that slowly. I thought about using some
kind of lame excuse about how old I am or how the single speeders should get extra-time,
or how he could put a footnote by my name designating me an “unofficial”
finisher. But as I labored to cognitively
construct a reasonable argument to present to him, I became to realize
unequivocally that such a request would only force him into the difficult and incredibly
unfair position of having to tell me, “no.” My conclusion was sound; it is his
race, his rules, his parameters, and I respect him way more than some displaced
need that I may have about being able to claim my efforts during this race as being
legitimate within the context of the rules of the Trans-Iowa. The rules state that the race ends after 34 hours at 2:00 pm on Sunday, even in my devolved state I could understand that fact...So...Instead, I did the right thing; I called my buddy, Jeremy Kershaw, and asked
him to come get me. I told him that was
just up the road. I’d be the guy in the
ditch, covered in barn-yard muck, laying next to a bike and some other muddy
and wet gear. So it goes….
Stay tuned for Part II in the very near
future…
Part II: Optimism runs HIGH: The
beginning of the tenth running of the Trans-Iowa. Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of
things, and good things never die (from Shawshenk Redemption)
“Somewhere between the bottom of the
climb and the summit is the answer to the mystery of why we climb."
— Greg Child.
Monday, April 21, 2014
Your cheatin' heart...
Guitar
Ted, founder and director of the classic “unsupported” Trans-Iowa gravel
cycling races recently wrote down some thoughtful and compelling observations about
the likelihood of some past Trans-Iowa racers engaging in less than honorable
activities (the 10th running starts this upcoming Saturday). Suspect activities such as receiving
outside assistance from ones "covert support group" and other sketchy digressions were mentioned as examples of clear violations of the rules. As all good writing does, his thoughts became
the basis of an interesting discussion. In this case, the conversation was amongst
a small group of riders as we cruised along the back-roads of old Duluth on
Sunday. When I got home, I decided to
put ink to paper in an attempt to better articulate my thoughts on this topic of
cheating.
As
a high school teacher, I deal with this issue of cheating on a fairly routine
basis. Something like 80% of high school
kids admit to cheating at some point during their four years, so I know that
some kids will cheat in my classes. At the onset of every class, as a kind of prompt, I always tell my
students that any test, essay, or assignment that they do in my class is not worth the
price of cheating. Some kid will inevitably
raise his or her hand and ask the appropriate question. The question
goes something like this (at least I am hoping for it): “Whatz that
mean? Why is your class not worth cheating for?” My response is that, “I get that most
everybody cheats at some point, but smart people have learned that when deciding
to cheat, ya gotta do a cost/benefit analysis.
That means that you gotta think about whether or not the awards or
benefits associated with getting away with the cheating is worth the risk or costs of
getting caught.”
The
next question I am hoping for is: “So whatz the cost of getting caught cheating
in your class?” Now I know that they are expecting me to say something like,
“Ya won’t graduate or you will get suspended, you’ll get an F or I’ll call your
parents or something like that.” Essentially, what they are expecting is for me
to tell them that if they get caught cheating they will be hit with some kind
of formal sanction. Yet, what I tell them is this—“I’ll be super disappointed
with you, I’ll probably never trust you again, chances are we will never be friends,
and I’ll tell my friends and co-workers that you are a cheater.” I go on to add that, “So in
this class, the risks or costs are not worth the benefit in that the reward for not cheating is my respect and my friendship...Because our
friendship is way more important or beneficial than any grade can get for you in this class.”
The simple, but poignant idea, of course, is that when your reputation and/or respect is at stake, the respect and friendship you have earned from your peers is priceless and so clearly not worth the price of cheating. I may be wrong, but I honestly suspect that only a little bit cheating goes on in my
classes. As for the ones that do cheat, they clearly do not enjoy the respect of
the other members. By cheating they damage their reputations. Research bears out
the fact that in most situations, informal sanctions are more powerful than consequences associated
with formalized punishments.
In
fact in my sociology course, just a few dayz ago, we did a short lesson on the
socio-psychology of cheating. The Atlantic Monthly dedicated a pretty
comprehensive article on cheating.
Essentially the conclusion was that most people will cheat given a
certain set of circumstances, but only malcontents will cheat in situations such
as the Trans-Iowa, where a guy’s reputation is essentially the only thing at
stake.
For
one to cheat in any competition, other than perhaps in the high stakes financial
realm of a few professional sports, but especially in an amateur long distance
gravel road race, too me seems like the pinnacle of moral dysfunction or
misplaced value. Who the hell cares? It
don't mean nothin' to nobody except the guyz doing it. Itz the guyz that you are riding with that matters...Thatz why itz so cool...The whole thing is
about the experience. To cheat in a highly cohesive, inclusive group such as
those like-minded individuals in a race such as the Trans-Iowa and thus to risk
one’s reputation amongst the in-group seems absurd (Note: an in-group
is a social
group to which a person psychologically identifies as being a
member). Friday, April 11, 2014
Yet another reason why my chances (for survival) look good for the Trans-Iowa Part X
Pre Trans-Iowa positive
thought of the day…or ”puttin’ a positive spin on seemingly a hopeless situation.”
Obese Heart Attack Patients Are More Likely To Survive
After Treatment Than Normal Weight Patients
Date: June 22, 2007
Oxford University Press
Summary: Obese and very obese patients have a lower risk
of dying after they have been treated for heart attacks than do normal weight
patients, according to new research. Researchers found that amongst patients
who had received initial treatment for a specific type of heart attack, those
that were obese or very obese were less than half as likely to die during the
following three years as patients who had a normal body mass index.
This is good news for me as I prepare for the
upcoming trans-Iowa….
Thursday, April 10, 2014
Why I could have won the Trans Iowa....but now I won't be winning.....
How I could have won
the tenth running of the Trans-Iowa….But it would have been morally and
ethically wrong.
Whether it is in
pursuit of summits or even victory on a bicycle; style matters. The fastest guyz heading down to Iowa on the
last weekend of April to compete in the T.I. will be pleased to hear that I
will NOT be using Kershaw’s time-trial bars on my trusty Gunnar (or
Kelly). I put them on last night (rather
than go for a training ride) and they initially seemed kinda cool, but my
daughter mocked me sayin’ that those were for fast guyz not old fat guyz and
then I couldn’t get them to stay in one position (no matter how tight I cranked
the fastener bolts, both kept slipping down). So I did the right then and
quickly gave up on the idea. The problem
with me is that I’ll do just about anything right now to try and figure out a
way that I can finish that monster route.
As stated in a recent post, itz not the distance that is keeping me up
at nights, itz covering the distance in the allotted time-frame. I got enough miles in over the last thirty
years to not be psyched out by covering a lot ground going nearly nonstop and
unsupported, but to make 340 miles in 34 hours, that’s gonna be hard for me….
The last time I tried
the Trans Iowa was in 2012. I was just too
tired to do the one last year as I was just back from Alaska and my whole body
was racked with fatigue well into spring.
In 2012, I showed up to the race feeling good, so I took off hard and
stayed with the leaders, but after about eight hours I was really starting to
soak in the proverbial hurt-tank.
Quickly, I was dropped and then not long after being dropped, I
unknowingly took a wrong turn and got hopelessly lost. After what must have
been a couple hours or so, I finally lucked out and got to a small town, found
a phone and contacted Guitar-Ted. With
his help, I was able to backtrack and get back on route but I was hopelessly
behind in terms of making the time cuts.
I made the second checkpoint by just a few minutes and then basically fell
victim to the Demons of Despair and Misery as I entered the sadistic realm of long long night
time on the back roads of Iowa.
G.T. mercifully sent Matt Gersib out to retrieve me. I’m probably too bull headed to have made
such a pick-up call, but when the sag-wagon appeared, I made no dissenting
remarks. Matt told me to get in the car and I complied. Had Matt not generously come to
my aid, I probably would have crashed out in a field (or preferably a
cemetery), languished in the supine position for a few hours, and then limped my sorry ass back into Grinnell well after the
time parameter, and well after everyone else had gone home...
I guess my point is
that this year my plan for success has to be to start the race at a reasonable
pace, maintain that pace, and to NOT get lost…
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