Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Tryin' to get my head 'round Iowa...found a quote from Shawshenk Redemption that fitz where I'm at....it aint pretty...

Seeds of doubt... "There's a harsh truth to face. No way I'm gonna make it on the outside. All I do anymore is think of ways to break my parole, so maybe they'd send me back. Terrible thing, to live in fear. Brooks Hatlen knew it. Knew it all too well. All I want is to be back where things make sense. Where I won't have to be afraid all the time. Only one thing stops me. A promise I made to Andy..." "There's a harsh truth to face. No way I'm gonna make it in Iowa. All I do anymore is think of ways to break my date with GT, or do somethin' so maybe they'd not make me race. Terrible thing, to live in fear. All I want is to be back where things make sense. Where I won't have to be afraid all the time. Only one thing stops me. A promise I made to Eki..."

Friday, March 25, 2011

I once rode my bicycle, now I walk the dog! Just say "NO" to the urge to get a dog!!!!

As you may recall from an earlier report, my new constant companion, Loki, has adopted a lifestyle that celebrates what Freud would call an “unbridled” Id in which he operates completely on spontaneous hedonistic urges. Lately, Loki has begun to exert his developing manhood in inappropriate ways including shocking physical acts not unlike that seen during an Elvis routine back when The KING was at the very peak of his prowess.
Disregarding all sense of honor and/or civility, yesterday as Loki impatiently dragged me along a scenic pathway, we encountered a pair of comely co-eds from nearby UMD, without hesitation Loki immediately jumped up onto the more buxom of the duo and started what can only be described as a full-fledged rendition of Elvis’ “Burning Love,” including outrageous gyrations and... you get the picture!

Lord Almighty,
I feel my temperature rising
Higher higher
It's burning through to my soul
Girl, girl, girl
You gonna set me on fire
My brain is flaming
I don't know which way to go
Your kisses lift me higher
Like the sweet song of a choir
You light my morning sky
With burning love
Ooh, ooh, ooh,
I feel my temperature rising
Help me, I'm flaming
I must be a hundred and nine
Burning, burning, burning
And nothing can cool me
I just might turn into smoke
But I feel fine
Cause your kisses lift me higher
Like a sweet song of a choir
And you light my morning sky
With burning love
It's coming closer
The flames are now licking my body
and won't you help me
I feel like I'm slipping away
It's hard to breathe
And my chest is a-heaving
Lord have mercy,
I'm burning a hole where I lay
Cause your kisses lift me higher
Like the sweet song of a choir
You light my morning sky
With burning love
With burning love
Ah, ah, burning love
I'm just a hunk, a hunk of burning love
Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love
Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love
Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love
Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love
Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love
Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love

Outwardly, I was mortified, as were the two girls…And yet inwardly, deep within the darkest confines of my "caged" ego-driven psyche, I fought the urge to smile...Ultimately as a reflective, sensitive 21st Century Man, I had to admit a tinge of envy for his boldness. Perhaps deep-down, I yearned to live the life of the Id-driven animal, to live as the Cave Man lived-- free from the bounds of civilization... Such is my life as a man-servant…for mine is not to reason why, mine is to escort Loki...help me..........

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

I have accepted my position in life....

In antiquity, Don Quixote had Sancho Panza, Robinson Crusoe had his man, Friday, and Sherlock had Dr. Watson. During the Golden Age of Alpinism, Sir Hillary had Tenzing Norgay and Lionel Terray had Louis Lachenal. In our time, Lindsay has his Lockery and now Loki has Farrow; every great figure in history has a committed Man-servant.

The magical bond that develops betwixt leader and the obsequious servant is an extraordinary phenomenon that involves a mutually symbiotic relationship whereby the leader benefits from the unconditional support of the Man-servant and the servant is blessed with the company of a charismatic figure that transcends such petty and trivial concerns such as access to healthcare and pensions.

I am not here to argue that these relationships are naturally occurring and/or devoid of rancor or resentment. At the onset of such relationships there can exist an initial period of jealousy, even contempt, but as the brilliance of the leader becomes more and more apparent the Man-servant is more willing to take the second position, the position of care-giver and trusted confidant in the hope that history will remember such devotion. In the writer’s situation, at the outset of Loki’s grandiose entrance into his world, he was reluctant to take the back seat to the canine’s seemingly carefree, pompous, “larger-than-life approach to life. The second-in-command was distrustful of the newly arrived leader’s zest for deer and cat excrement. The lavishness in which the leader threw himself, with unbridled enthusiasm, into the entrails of putrid road kills caused the staff (and the writer) to question his motives and even his morality. During those first few weeks, the writer felt betrayed by his leader’s promiscuous gallivanting hedonistic forays…but now the Man-servant has come to accept Loki for his virtuosity and to “look away” when the leader acts in ways that may detract from the making of his legacy, (just as we must in the making of Lance's legacy or Clinton's role in history).

This morning as Loki awoke me from a deep sleep at 4:18 a.m. to accompany him on his early morning walk about, I felt initial bitterness, even outrage, but immediately I repressed these emotions and accepted his eccentricities as a simple manifestation of his greatness. As he willy-nilly empted his bowels in the middle of the pathway, I initially felt disgust and then I knew that I did not have the ability to understand his greatness and so dutifully used the plastic bag to clean up after him….such is the degree of my transformation… I have accepted my position as that of a bit player...so it goes...

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Living in the Northland....

Traveling with Team Evavold in the BWCA...
In what has turned out to be a cherished annual event, the offspring and I partook in a most excellent BWCA adventure to Lake Tuscarora with the family Evavold in mid February and then Chris and his two daughters also joined Sophie and I (with sled-dog, Loki in-tow) as we chaperoned a winter camping trip last weekend with the Esko High School Outdoor Club in nearby, albeit beautiful Patterson State Park.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

The Best Cycling Gear of 2010....

The highly anticipated and long awaited and highly controversial Top Five List of Cycling Innovations for 2010…(Note: Like the evil Public Teacher Unions in this country, Carbon-fiber products are not considered in this highly selective list as they are Un-American)

#5 1988 Chouinard Overboots. I found these up in my attic stuffed away with a bunch of old climbing gear after last year’s Arrowhead, where I durn near lost me big toe to the frost bite! They work great in combination with my Lake Winter Boots and keep my feet pretty warm even in 20 below.

#4 Mountain Feedbag. A nifty little bag that affixes to ones handlebars. Allows easy access to food, EPO, and hemorrhoid suppositories, etc.

#3 Stranahan's Colorado Small Batch Whiskey. Guitar Ted gave me a bottle of this quality whiskey a few years back after the running of the Trans-Iowa and itz the best whiskey I have ever had the pleasure of imbibing. I shared a shot with me dear Dad a few months back in 2010 and we both wept tears of joy! And then he bought me a new bottle… Use just a bit of it to revive one’s senses after a long cold night out on one’s Pugsley or the like.

#2 Brave Soldier Chamois Lube. The best protection for the long long haul. Save your $$$ on those fancy-pants saddles and the Gucci bibs…instead get a few tubes of this stuff and ride ride ride….

#1 The Salsa Woodchipper handlebars…An amazing innovation that finds that tricky middle ground between off-road mtb bars and road-racing drop bars. I love these bars and highly recommend them for use with gravel road machines, touring bikes, as well as snow-bikes. Really, truly…a great innovation. I just ordered my second pair and I am super cheap.

Note: The youthful looking rider in the front of the photo above is using all of the above items, including the bright green/purple/black Chouinard Overboots, the Woodchipper bars, the Brave Soldier Product, a small Surly flash of courage (aka Stanahan), mt. feedbag...