Friday, January 27, 2012

Rolling Out the Red Carpet in International Falls, Minnesota

I am nearly too excited to put ink to paper….the Grand Winter Gala is but a few dayz hence. I can’t wait to see all the other fabulous attendees, the bright shiny new bikes and velo techno-gizmos, coupled with all the pre-race fanfare…

The anticipation is killing me!!!! Lance will arrive upon the red carpet with his carbon festooned titanium super ride, whilst a confident Charly Tri shall arrive—leading his entourage amid the throngs of envious on-lookers. The fabled veteran Lindsay Gauld shall arrive in royal grandeur assisted by his trusty man-servant Sir Andy Lockery. The noteworthy and favored interlopers from Wyoming and Alaska shall cause the fans and media alike to momentarily stop and stare in admiration.

Even several of the malcontented marginalized runners will elicit some interest (apart from their own kind) as the charismatic and brave Buffington has opted to beat them at their own game….Oh the expectancy is unrivaled, unbearable, I’m like a little school girl prepping for her first high school dance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

See you all in International Falls…I’ll be the older and rather stooped gent with the boyish good looks :)

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Why I AM the one to watch at the upcoming BIG Winter DANCE in I-Falls

RACING Weight: A quick start guide...A 10 day weight-loss plan for the over-the-hill bike racing community

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Thursday, January 5, 2012

New Year's Resolutions

New Year’s Resolutions:
1. I need to really work on being nicer to them weird runners. Even though they are weird and all…I need to really try and be nicer to them, especially now that Buffington is part of that community.

2. I really like how Mitt Romney alwayz sez, “My Goodness,” when he is upset instead of swearing an’ all…so I am gonna really work on sayin’ “My Goodness,” when people do really stupid stuff to me. Like when I’m in a gravel road race and some out-of-control guy takes me out on a tight descending turn and puts me on the floor and I’m layin’ there all bleeding and stuff…instead of sezing, “What the %$^#@!!!” I am gonna work on sayin’ “
My Goodness!”

3. Like Rick Santorum, Rick Perry, Michelle Bachman, Tim Tebow, and half of the NBA, I really need to publicly and overtly thank God more for all kinds of good stuff that happens to me….like finding really nice gear in the lost & found and/or winning a sweet cycling cap at a post-race drawing...

4. I need to accept my fate that Loki the Man-dog will eventually kill me.

5. Oh yeah and finally...I also need to fully commit to being either a full-on Super Conservative or a dyed-in-the-wool Radical Liberal; regarding my emerging political ideology. Being a Moderate, a Centrist, or embracing the antiquated notion of consensus building and thus approaching problem-solving from a stance of interdependence is soooo Old School...