Saturday, November 17, 2012

Just don't see the humor in the wolf "harvest"


Just goofin’ around…I’ve been trying to write up something funny or amusing about the wolf “harvest” thatz going down right now in both Wisconsin and Minnesota.  Itz been a long, long, time since hunters have been afforded their God given right to kill wolves…I’m not sure on the last time a patriot got to kill a wolf cuz the liberals have been in charge for so long, but it could be that the brave wolf hunter has not been able to rid us of these dangerous beasts since these great United States of America still segregated kids into separate but “equal” schools based on race?   Or since Little Red Riding Hood’s grandmother was brutally murdered, or since the great Job Creators of the early 1900s cut all the old growth trees down….Thank the Minnesota DNR for getting us our rights back. 

In any event, I was thinking on a short piece describing the great courage and ardor it takes for modern man (atop his modern transports) to shoot (or better yet, to trap) an unsuspecting wolf.  I thought it would be funny to highlight the great technological advances available to the modern hunter of wolves including cameras, night vision, etc., etc., etc., to emphasize the wonderful advances we, as a people, have made as a progressive civilization.  And yet at the same time comment on how we have not given up on our Just War with the wolf (and his kind). I'd add a little sentence like, "It is, and will continue to be, a tough and long conflict, but we can win this war because our cause is righteous…"

But no matter how I craft the essay…it just don’t seem funny to me that a bunch of malcontents are out in the woods trying to kill the coolest animal in the Northwoods for no reason other than to….? Can’t seem to finish this thought…Notes to ponder: Maybe a guy wants to kill a wolf so he can make up for his smallish _______?  Maybe a wolf tail would look cool affixed to the outside of his truck…hanging off his old antenna?  Or a wolf pelt would be just the thing to cover up that big hole in the side of his trailer (caused by his shotgun accidentally going off when he’d had a few too many Bud-lights)?  

I’ll keep trying to come up with something funny or amusing about the wanton killing wolves in this day and age…but itz a hard assignment.  I'll keep trying...

12 comments:

  1. This just shows those uppity wolves just who is at the top of the food chain. Wait a second - wolves aren't food. Never mind.

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  2. I am of the opinion that the wolf hunt has much to do with the large amount of people living in straw houses.



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  3. Real men shoot elephants from helicopters or blast whales with missiles fired from nuclear submarines...

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  4. A level playing field sure would make the wolf hunt more entertaining. I root for wolves.
    Anyhow, here's the deal on my fat bike race we were talking about: http://thunderdown12.blogspot.com/2012/11/snowbound-in-underdown.html

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  5. There are supposed to be Wolves coming into IL. There will be a lot of missing poodles soon.

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  6. 3 Cheers for Farrow!! Long live the Wolves! Admit it, if we had to be animals, we'd all wish we were Wolves.

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  7. Ari: Can you imagine a world with a few less poodles? I can!!!! Save the Wolves...they are like us!!!
    Charlie

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  8. we gps tracked a wolf from Itasca down PAST Chicago... this was back 10ish years ago. They've been there, there are still too many poodles.

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  9. Ahhh, but yet another fine example of where we think we know it all...But, we don't.

    CAD

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  10. Doesn't need to be funny when it's this poignant.

    Good to see your name on the ITI roster--a homecoming of sorts?

    Best of luck,

    MC

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  11. shouldn't be killing em, I hope I can get to see one someday...

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  12. Shit Charlie...if we don't knock off the wolves there won't be a damn deer left in the state. I mean, damn, I can walk a mile through Robbinsdale now and I'm not guaranteed a deer sighting. Their damn near making deer extinct.

    Curious thing about the wolves that I keep trying to figure out is why they keep leaving their deer kills along the highway shoulders. Shows just how cruel those yellow-eyed bastards are killing for sport...and not for meat...oh...wait a minute...

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