Saturday, January 1, 2011

Reports of my demise/devolution have been somewhat embellished...

Happy 2011!!! I am now back from the brink, having circled the proverbial and fabled crypt for many dayz since that unspeakable debacle occured over in Wisconsin...In other words; It have been about 15 dayz since my grave act of "supposed" dishonor @ the Tuscobia 150. For the record, I apologize for NOT doing my duty upon the trail immediately after my demise, but me WWI British-Officer issue revolver failed several times and then I unconsciously collapsed en-route to throwing myself over (and into) a bottomless abyss of eternal torment, via a high railroad bridge into churning ice-ridden rapids, only to miraculously find myself in the care of a kind and nurturing Mrs. Roe at the last checkpoint. Again I apologize to my DBD brethren and promise that I shall have me current fire-arm replaced with a more recently crafted and practical alternative for the Arrowhead and Trans-Iowa, etc... In any event, I am finally back on the track to life w/Honor (thanks to my personal physician and a team of committed health care professionals), albeit wobbly and very unsure of myself and my current place within the DBD wolf pack. Although I am happy to report that my pending case with the DBD Honor Council is certainly going to go my way as my attorney has assured me that my defense of total collapse is "rock solid"... Clearly at this point, I am NOT the Alpha Male that I once was in my glorious youth (I doubt that I ever was)...Yet, I rode me trusty STEEL Puglsey today for about 90 minutes at a slow pace in Hartley Park and while I did feel weak, it was not pathetically weak, and the sheer velo-movement on snow, brought a smile upon my normally taciturn demeanor.

Once I get back to 80 or 90% of normal; I shall present and publish the highly anticipated 2010 Awards pertaining to the Greatest Cycling Accomplishments of 2010. Just off the top of my head--Some of the favorites that will get serious consideration include: Chris Skogen; Scott Cole; Tim Ek; Jeremy Kershaw; Rich Hendricks; J. Buffington; COGGS; J. Novak; C. Tri; S. K.J.; D. Pramann; J.Oakley; T. Rockwell; G.Ted & Associates, J. Meiser; J. Boyce; Ragnorak 105 Race Organizers; Tim Roe (and Tim Roe's mother); Adam Blake; Nebraskans Cornbread and his buddy T. Kruse?; L. Andre; Braun; Salsa; Surly; 24@9 Mile; and several others that I cannot remember right now as I have been drinking (as prescribed by my medical team--"drink lotz of fluids!")...Also I shall submit the Top Ten List of Greatest Gear Innovations of 2010 as well.* Please feel free to submit names and gear for both lists in the next few days via comments.

*Just a few on the short list for greatest gear innovations for 2010 include: Farrow's Ultra-endurance Man Diaper; the Salsa Wood-Chipper bars; the 1988 Merlin MTB Ti-Frame conversion kit c/o Pride Cycles; Kershaw's frame pack design; Buffington's Man Foot-Warmer Bootie; DBD Adventure Society wool jersey; Surly Stainless Steel Whiskey Flask; Lance Andre's Old Man Winter Cycling Suit; Buffington's Heck of the North Ale; Eki's Super Sweet CK Wheel-set c/o Slender Fungus Cycling Club Executive Officer; Bar-Mitts; Kershaw's Clock Work Steel 29er Frame, etc.
Of Note: While his decision to race the 75 mile race raised some eyebrows amongst the more traditional of our breed, clearly a CONGRATULATIONS is in order to Mr. Charly Tri for his impressive effort @ Tuscobia. The stage is set for a GREAT Contest to commence in International Falls in just a month's time!


  1. Thanks to the DBD for such deep encouragement.
    Ben Shockey for introducing Templeton Rye Whiskey. Made in Iowa and the only recipe to be worthy of drinking during Trans Iowa.
    Surly for all your Manly Bikes. To all the Sheep in the world thank you for your warm wool. To Buffington for Settling my 30 year old Astmatic Lungs. C.F for the kind comments and constant encouragement while we ride in Horrid Conditions. Eki, for riding those red hubs all over the midwest. Lots more to Come in this great year of 2011!!!!!!!!!!

    Embraces to all and a Prosit while we drink some hard liquor.

    Slender Fungus Cycling Association.
    Sycamore, IL.

  2. Farrow,

    Thanks for the plug. Tuscobia was debated in my head up until race day. Complete lack of gear prep combined with back and asthma problems leading up to the race had me staying in the 75 miler. Sorry to hear the gun jammed (I think we are all sorry about that). If you need a character witness let me know.

  3. I vote for the new DBD uniform!