Sunday, July 29, 2012

The Olympics are awesome! and I be learning a lot too...!!

Given my current situation, which requires a secure bathroom to be within about four seconds away from me at every moment of my daily life, I have wholeheartedly embraced the role of TV Olympic armchair spectator. So far I have learned several very important life lessons from being planted in front of the television. Lessons that I would like to pass on to my readers. Note: These lessons are listed in no particular order: 

For my money the best sport in the Olympics is without a doubt Women's Beach Volleyball. If you need further explanation, I cannot help you. 

I bet itz kinda weird hangin' out with Ali's wife. By the way, why was Muhammad Ali in the opening ceremony???

The nice people at Chevy are offering huge trucks for realistically low prices

The women volleyball players hug each other a lot! 

The nice people at Coca Cola have made it possible for most if not all of the Olympic athletes to achieve their dreams. Also, if you drink Coke, you should be very proud of yourself.

At first I thought that the Opening Ceremonies were super boring and contrived, but that one lady from THE VIEW liked it a lot, so now I do too.

The new Bat Man movie is the best movie ever made.

All the athletes eat at McDonald's.

The nice people at All State are super nice and they will never be mean to anyone. They love your family. 

Itz not a good thing to hop when you land your dismount, you need to "stick" your landing! 

The gymnastics coaches are weird. 

I know that I am suppose to care about swimming, and I am trying...but itz SOOO hard.  

Guyz that drive BMWs have really pretty girlfriends.

That one guy that is beating that other guy, you know the swimmer guy with the long torso (remember--got busted takin' a pull off of a bong), anyway the new guy is kinda hard to take...I like the old guy better. 

BP (pretty sure it aint, I mean I don't think itz the same company that trashed the Gulf Coast with zillions of gallons of crude oil) is super nice to all the athletes, even the ones that are missing legs and stuff. 

Coke is also nice to athletes that are missing limps. 

The best cereal company in the world is Kellogg. 

The folks at United Airlines brought all the athletes to London and all the athletes were smiling, even the ones in wheelchairs, and so were the guyz that load the luggage onto the jets. 

Even though Romney aint much of an athlete, he owns a horse that is...

Al Troutwig, at least I think itz Al,  is so cool and he knowz his Women's beach volleyball!

That little guy that wears the bandanna ( I think he does ice skating and sometimes beats the little Asian guyz) in the Winter Olympics, he really likes his Subway.

The men's waterpolo players wear really skimpy swimsuits. I am OK with the Women's Beach Volleyball uniforms cuz they are on the super HOT beach and all, but the guyz are indoors.  

NO BODY I mean, not a single person in the world, cares about Men's Beach Volleyball.

Marshall School needs more students to sign up...

My life and your life would be grim and dull if it were not for HP and even more so without Apple.

I better get me some insurance. So many cool people work for Nationwide. I really need to get many bad things can happen and I need them folks to keep me safe...those guyz really really care about me...

Not sure about what the cute Gecko is selling, but he sure is on the TV a lot. 

We all owe a lot to A T & T. 

There's a company that makes yogurt, and they all got together and made this huge screen in a big field and they are all watching the Olympics seems real nice. 

CITI has made many of the best athletes better and CITI don't ask fer nothin' in return. 

Chevy is super nice, especially to black people, so is All State.

Coke helps flood victims.

Most people are really stupid, except the boy that is good with the Apple I-products, he helps the stupid people, help me!

Walgreens is in your corner, no matter matter what they are there for you.

The parents of the guyz and girlz that do gymnastics are really weird.


  1. That is some funny shit!!!!

  2. I haven't watched a second of the Olympics, but now I feel like I haven't missed a beat. I am learning, too, Charlie! Thanks for that.

  3. Charlie, I love your blog. Your kinda my hero. Anyway this was a super post.