For
immediate public release
To whom
it may concern:
The secretive and exclusive DBD Adventure Society has broken
from itz recent tradition of offering membership to worthy candidates only posthumously
and instead has inducted the still alive, albeit sufficiently aged, Lindsay
Gauld into the Club. Note: Dr. Andrew Lockery
was also inducted so as to be able to continue in his role as Mr. Gauld’s
Man-servant.
Mr. Gauld’s induction into the DBD was finalized
upon his honorable completion of this year’s Alaskan Iditarod Invitational
Race. A race that involves presenting both cyclists and man-haulers with the
worthy challenge of negotiating the first 350 miles of the remote and historic
Iditarod Trail from Knik to McGrath [Note: Nine of the registered fifty participants
plan on continuing onward to Nome, which involves yet another 650 miles of
wilderness travel]. Immediately following Mr. Gauld inception in the DBD, along
with his trusty Man Servant, Dr. Andrew Lockery, both men received the full
benefits of DBD membership including a locker at the exclusive DBD Club House
located on the third floor of the Kitchee Gammi Club located in old Duluth, a
DBD smoking jacket, and a requisition form for obtaining
a fully detailed 1917 Webley
Mk VI Revolver to be used by Dr. Lockery on Mr. Gauld in the event of an act of
potential dishonor.
Due to his forced abandonment of last year’s race, in
which Mr. Gauld’s nose went missing due to severe frostbite, this recent competition
acted as the final DBD opportunity for assessment of Mr. Gauld’s mettle. Initially, both Buffington and Farrow were
charged with conducting the assessment/fact –finding process , but due to
Buffington’s real potential for a high finish even amongst a very talented
field of cyclists, Farrow was tasked with the role of primary assessor. Essentially, Mallory and his people felt that
Buffington’s quest for Honor trumped his role as Assessor, whilst Farrow, with
his recent record of dishonorable acts, was generously given the dual role of Gauld’s
official chronicler (and photographer) and also the chance to reconcile his own
tainted image by completing the race without resorting to any dubious acts or
unsavory tactics.
Therefore the final plan called for Buffington to be
sent ahead to Anchorage to co-mingle during the pre-race phase with the most
talented of the hardy Alaskans, whilst Farrow was assigned to reside at the
Alaskan European Bed & Breakfast (B&B); the chosen lodge for several
participants, all of whom were clearly a few steps below what could be called
super athletes, with the exception of the young Italians, who were heading for
Nome. In others words, due to advanced age
or average skill sets or lack of experience with arctic cycling or all these
factors combined, the residence of the Alaskan European Bed & Breakfast
were mostly not vying for high finishes.
The collective goal amongst these brave, but mortal souls was to simply
survive the 350 miles in good time and in noble style. These were men that knew such an ordeal would
test their psychological resolve and physical capabilities to the maximum….
The following is Farrow’s report. A simple recollection of an aged man well
past his prime and yet still chasing a wanderlust and zest for life that will
hopefully remain with him until he draws his last breath…In short Buffington
went to Alaska in search of glorious deeds and victory amongst Men; Farrow went
to Alaska because he had to…before the onset of age renders him homeward bound.
A condition of which is almost too difficult for to bear. There is a sense of urgency to his adventures
now; an urgency that anyone over the age of 50 can relate to…Too many
adventures, but too little time. Such is
the inspiration of characters such as Lindsay Gauld, nearly 65 years old and
still planning the next great challenge.
Mallory wept quietly the tears of honor, when he heard of Gauld’s
triumphant effort.
Submitted by E. Shackleton on March 7, 2013
To: DBD Honor Board
From: CPF
Concerning: The completion of the Alaskan Iditarod
Invitational and the subsequent awarding of DBD status to both Mr. Lindsay
Gauld and his trustyworthy Man-servant, Dr. Andrew Lockery.
2013 Iditarod Invitational Race Report
Part I: The Pre-race
After a hectic Friday at school, I left Esko and
arrived in Minneapolis around 5:15 or two hours before my departure for
Seattle. Several hours later, due to problems with the plane’s navigational
system, I arrived two and a half hours late into Anchorage, at 3:00 a.m. (via
Alaskan Airlines) on the Saturday before the start of the big dance, which
would commence at 2:00 p.m. on that Sunday. By the time I got to the B&B it
was past 4:00 a.m. thus beginning an eight day stretch defined by a systemic
lack of any semblance of quality slumber.
Note: if you are serious about a top finish in this
race or any kind of multi-day race, you need to be able to go without sleep. Sleep
is the great decider, folks that can stay on the bike for dayz on end without
sleep win these races, whereas people like me, that need at least a few hours of
sleep every twenty-four period will not contest for a top finish.
I was to
share a room with two compelling characters, Klaus Pusl (a cyclist) from
Germany and Marco Berni (a man-hauler) of Italy. Both men are veteran endurance racers,
committed snorers, nice guyz, and both had already completed the route to
McGrath, with Berni (a snorer in possession of a staccato-type snore ensemble),
having also been twice before to Nome.
Pusl (57 years old), whose snore repertoire including a kind of
desperate choking sound that reminded me of the last grasps of man hanging from
the gallows, had made McGrath and then, in an impressive effort, continued
onward for Nome in 1997, but was force to abandon his effort in Shaktooluk (a
small village on Norton Sound) due to serious frost bite. Adjacent to our comfortable room, Lindsay
Gauld, the iconic Olympian Canadian stalwart and James Hodges of Virginia, a
remarkably fit looking guy and a two time finisher of the Tour Divide, took up
residence. Farther down the hall, the stoutly built Donald Wood of Michigan
bunked alone as the other bed belonged to the Brit, Allan Tillis, who had, at
the last minute, been forced to delay his arrival due to a family
emergency. As a testament to Irene’s
compassion (she owns the B&B) she held the bed on the off chance that the
Brit would make it (and he did, although he had to start nearly a four and a
half dayz late; Irene drove him to the start line). The two upstairs bedrooms were occupied by
Irene and a young charismatic Italian couple, Ausillia Vistarini and Sebastiano
Favaro. This dynamic duo had completed
the route to McGrath in 2012 (on single-speeds) and were back this year to make
an attempt on Nome. They have
beautifully Italian hand crafted titanium frames, this time equipped with
gears. They were delightful young people,
always happy and cheerful.
The B&B had a heated garage for our use and so
with the help of Woody, I was able to build up my bike in short order. Woody is a very capable bike mechanic and
since I am worthless at anything mechanical, I was very lucky to have him
willing to assist me. Woody is built
like a nose-guard, not like an endurance athlete, but he finished the race in
an impressive effort, an effort that should act as a source of inspiration for
all larger men out there. Bravo Mr.
Donald Wood, by far the largest man in the field!
I highly recommend staying at the Alaskan European
Bed & Breakfast if you plan to do this race. Irene is an amazing host and
the whole ambiance of the place is geared for the adventurer on a budget. The rates are very reasonable and the meals
were very good, plus it is centrally located… It cost me $16 cab fare from the
airport and it is only a short walk away from the race meeting place and a nice
bar. I plan on staying there again as
soon as I get a chance to head back up to Alaska.
We wiled away that Saturday, visiting Speedway
Cycles (home of the FatBack, the bike of choice for most of the fastest
Alaskans) and REI. I had forgotten to
bring straps to attach my various packs to my bike frame and so I went in
search for this item at REI. Once at
REI, in a rather spur of the moment rationalization, based on solely on pricing,
I made the decision to forgo the straps in favor of the cheaper bungee
cords. It turns out that it was a
mistake as the bungees did not work as well as straps to hold the gear in place
on the often very bumpy Iditarod Trail.
On more than several occasions I came to curse the bungees as they were
difficult to deal with when clad in gloves and they also tended to skew the
rear stuff sack, which was an ongoing source of irritation for me as I was
constantly “punching” that rear stuff sack back into itz proper alignment. Lesson
#1: Use stout straps to affix gear to one’s frame, bungees don’t work nearly as
well.
In the late afternoon, all the racers were required
to meet at a motel that was very near to our B&B so we all walked over
together. The meeting was short &
sweet and essentially drove home the simply message that the event was
unsupported and that in order to do well, one would have to be smart and not
cavalier about protecting oneself from the elements. I found the lack of a long drawn out lecture
on safety to be quite refreshing. The
prevailing attitude was that if you are signed up for this race, you should be
ready to do it on your own with no outside help. I liked the idea conveyed, that
one was responsible for his or her well-being. Too me, the less support the better, I
embraced the minimalist dogma years ago and so I tend to be attracted to races
that fit with the old idiom, “You've made your bed (and you'll have to lie in it).” Thatz why I
find races like the Trans-Iowa, the Colorado Trail Race, and the Tour Divide to
be such special races. Case-in-point, there is a Man-hauler, Tim Hewitt of
Pennsylvania (a legendary veteran of this race) that is hauling a fully
self-contained sled, weighing 100+ lbs., all the way to Nome. His plan is to travel the whole route with no
outside aid. BRAVO TIM HEWITT!
Another thing I really appreciated about this event
was the genuine and sincere willingness of the veterans to offer important tips
and advice to the rookies on how to do the race in an efficacious manner. Jay
Perevary and Jeff Oakley, top racers and amazing endurance aficionados were
especially helpful to me personally and I would like to publically thank
them. Salsa’s sponsorship is well spent
on Jay Petervary as he is truly a grand ambassador of adventure racing (he won
the race in an outstanding time of two days, nineteen hours, and fifty
minutes! It was a record breaking
effort!). Jeff Oakley is a major legend
of this epic event, having been at the top for many years, and he is also a
very amicable and unpretentious man. When Lindsay and I finished the race at
something like 3:45 a.m. on that Friday morning, Jeff Oakley got up from his
slumber and shook each of our hands. It
was incredible act of gracious and sincere benevolence and nearly brought me to
tears. Although Jason Buffington was a
rookie in this race, he rode with the top racers (7th place) and finished
the event in just over three dayz and five hours! He is a very good friend to me and he was the
first person to rise from his berth and offer Lindsay and me a heartfelt
“congratulations” upon our finish. He
also procured a victory beer for me which was like drinking nectar from
heaven…given the context of our situation having been on the go for nearly
thirty six hours with no sleep and just two hours or so of non-movement.
After the short pre-race meeting, a group of us
including Lindsay, Woody, Dan Jansen, and Jay Petervary headed over to a close-by
drinking establishment for a few good homemade beers and pizza. We retired early; presumably Lindsay, Woody,
Dan and JP for a good night’s sleep in anticipation of the great dance; whilst
I took a position of agitated repose to listen to a symphony of grunts, snorts,
chokes, coughs, and accentuated with frequents act of flatulence. Lesson
#2: Ya meet some really cool guyz at these things, but most of them snore and
they snore with gusto….
Lesson #3: Bring earplugs and strong
sleeping pills when you do things like this…
The Alaskan Iditarod Invitational Race did not disappoint. After a scenic bus ride from Anchorage to
Knik, we all gathered in or near a bar to nervously await the start, which was
to commence at 2:00 p.m. I enjoyed the
hour or so of the pre-race time for it allowed me to re-connect with Jason and
to visit with several other folks that I have met over the years, including
Jill Valerius, who was a friend to my wife back before she moved to Wasilla to
begin as a family physician some six years ago. It also allowed me to meet and
exchange pleasantries with several of the top riders including the young and
speedy Kevin Breitenbach and the indomitable Tim Berntson, who has direct ties
to Duluth having graduated from the College of Saint Scholastica; they finished
third and second respectably (Kevin rode in with Jeff Oatley for a third place
tie). The fact of the matter is that apart from Jason and me, several of the
competitors have direct ties to Duluth including Matt Long, a man-hauler and
super nice guy and John Storkamp, another great guy and Minnesota stalwart in
the man-hauling division. But Storkamp
and Long would be attached to sledges designed and manufactured by Chris
Evavold of Black River Sleds. Chris
works right down the hall from me at Lincoln High School in Esko,
Minnesota. Other Minnesotans included super
fit, Dan Dittmer, (who had a great race finishing in 11th place),
Ken Zylstra and Mike Criego (both super nice guyz that made my race even more
enjoyable by allowing Lindsay and I to share in their camaraderie during
several encounters during and after the race).
Lindsay and I had the pleasure yo-yoing back and forth with Ken and Mike
and Bob Ostrom (who is going on to Nome) for most of the race; a better bunch
of guyz would be hard to find, as they were funny, generous, and totally
competent.
Part II: The first 57 miles or from Knik to Yentna
Station.
Like I alwayz do— I started off way too fast given my
ability, living the illusion that I’d be able to, by some divine miracle, ride
with the top guyz. I nestled in behind
the speedy, Eszter Horanyi (who would go on to break the women’s record in
three dayz and sixteen hours). Clearly, Eszter Horanyi is an amazing cyclist with
many great achievements but I also found her to be a most delightful and bright
young woman that hopes to one day become a full time writer within the genre of
travel literature. She also has a great
sense of humor and more than held her own in McGrath when surrounded by a bunch
of unruly and boisterous men finishers.
In short, I found Ms. Horanyi to be a most impressive young woman.
We took off at a fast pace and initially had to labor
through some soft snow that took us along a tight narrow, tree lined track that
eventually turned into a wider trail that followed a power-line which quickly
dumped us out on to an asphalt road. I
was in the lead group of fifteen or sixteen. We motored at good speed on the
asphalt for at least an hour, maybe more, as my memory is not clear, but I do remember
thinking that it was weird to travel all the way to Alaska just to race on the
tarmac... Yet, it was fun as I was able to hang with the fast guyz and even
enjoyed pleasant conversations with several interesting characters, including
Jay Cable of Fairbanks and perennial winner Pete Basinger. Plus I knew that things would dramatically
change once we got on the Susitna River. As expected due to the warm
temperatures and recent snowfall, once on the Susitna, the trail turned very
soft and thus difficult to ride.
In a forlorn effort I attempted to follow the lead pack, but
in short order, my heart rate skyrocketing, I stopped, let some air out of my
tires, and watched them, with sincere admiration and goodwill, ride away from
me. I would not speak with any of them
again until McGrath. In dramatic fashion, I called out to them, “Godspeed,
Brave ones!” and smiled the smile of a contented man, comfortable in the
subservient role that he would play in this unfolding drama across the Alaskan
wilderness.
Truly the evolutionary tenet of survival of fittest was at
play here. The disproportional talent between
the top five to eight guyz and their abilities to ride the straight line in
such tenuous conditions and the rest of us was stark. A perusal of the results depicts a clear and
definitive performance gap that existed between the top twelve or so riders and
the rest of the cyclists (the gap between the runners is perhaps as definitive
and significant, but I did not take the time to calculate it). The top seven finishers broke the old record,
Buffington is included in this special group. Jay Petervary (JP) won the race
in a record time of sixty-seven hours and sixteen minutes; Tim Berntson was
only thirty four minutes back; and then Kevn Breitenback and Jeff Oakley were
approximately an hour back from JP. John
Lackey was very close behind Team Oatley. These five to seven guyz represent the cream of the crop and were
clearly a cut above the next group. These guyz essentially rode through without
any real substantial stops or rest-periods and when the rest of us pushed our
bikes, they rode them.
The pursuit group composed of the next nine riders was lead
by Nome resident Phil Hofstetter and Duluthian, Jason Buffington (seventy-seven
hours or ten hours back from JP), Mid-pack rider, Dan Dittmer at three dayz and
eighteen hours and with Jay Cable and Eric Warkentin, who both finished in the
thirteenth and fourteenth positions; bringing up the end of the second chase
group, doing the route together in about ninety-two hours or about twenty five
hours behind JP. These guyz represent a
strong committed chase group that rode very fast, but had to stop a few times
and/or were perhaps not able to ride as many lines up the hills and/or the soft
snow as the amazing top five. Then there exists a significant gap of fourteen
hours before the other cyclists start to arrive. These are the guyz that formed
the third tier; the rookies, the citizen enduro-racers, and/or the aged; collectively
a group that worked incredibly hard, but simply could not continually go go go
without a couple significant rests along the route or if rests were denied to
them, many were reduced to walking after long periods of stressful movement.
This was the group that I was a part of and included Ken Zylstra, Bob Ostrom,
Mike Criego, Lindsay, and Mike Beiergrohslein, Steve Wilkinson, Dan Jansen,
etc. During our last effort from Nikolai
to McGrath, Lindsay and I were so overcome with the extreme, unrelenting, and
essential desire to sleep that we were forced into taking little mini-naps in
the form of resting our heads on the handlebars (more on this later in the
report). Both of us, on several occasions, this was a first for me, fell asleep
while riding our bikes, lost control, and then pitched head long into the
snow. At one point, I watched from
behind as Lindsay started nodding off while leading out, I watched him fall
asleep (his head going limp, then slumping over), and then watched as he lost
control of the bike, and then watched the subsequent crash into the snow. I remember laughing and then taking a few
pictures of him digging out of the snow bank. Such is the twisted humor of the
Iditarod racer…
Many of this group may well move up the hierarchy of talent
if they choose to return to the event in 2014 as the learning curve is steep; A
race which requires a myriad of logistical considerations. A person like Dan
Jansen comes to my mind. A guy that has the talent and now with a finish under
his belt, he will return to looking to finish in the top ten. On a related point, I would not at all be
surprised to see Buffington return in 2014 sans bike, equipped instead with a
sledge and/or maybe even skis.
In my case, I made some mistakes that cost me some time and
wasted energy such as relying on less than optimal footwear, nevertheless I
doubt that I would be able to ever move up in the standings for I raced this
event as hard as I possibly could. I used every trick I have ever learned in
terms of pushing the mojo to the limit, plus at 53 years of age I doubt I will
get any faster, but to be a part of this motivated group is highly satisfying
to me. In other words finishing with Lindsay Gauld, a hero of mine, in the 18th
position, given the talent pool, was personally most gratifying. I loved every minute of it and I will
definitely go back for an attempt to make Nome. Although, due to my career as a
high school teacher I will have to wait for six years (when I can retire), so
the plan is to go back to the Iditarod in 2019.
In the mean time, the plan is stay hungry and to thus continue to do
what climbing legend Mo Anthoine calls, “feeding
the rat.” Immediate plans include the Trans-Iowa in April and a long adventure
ride in Canada this summer.
Truly the evolutionary tenet of specialization within the survival
of fittest principle was at play on the Iditarod trail. The fastest riders started out the fastest
and they ended the fastest…there were no surprises, no catastrophic bonks, no
slow tortoises jumping forward near the end to stunningly grab the victory from
the hares. …A quick digression—two thoughts occur to me as I write; #1. This
race attracts confident people that know what they can do both physically and
mentally, and #2. This particular year, given the state of the trail, allowed
the pure cyclist to truly exhibit his or her skills, whereas the all-around
hard-guy was not able to influence the race as much by overcoming very
difficult trail conditions. Regarding point #1: The top echelon knows from
experience how hard they can push it. Especially, the top riders, while they
may not admit it, don’t race this event with the mindset that they are going to
try and finish the race. They enter the
race with the goal of pushing their bodies and minds as hard as they can in an
effort to win the race. Theirs is a
struggle of man versus man with the Iditarod as the backdrop. I find such a
mindset to be exceedingly impressive. Case-in-point:
Jason Buffington knew he would be able to ride the 350 miles, but that was not
what he was after, he wanted to try and win it.
That is a big discrepancy from what I was trying to do. For me, the plan
was to get to McGrath with Man-appendages intact and in a timeframe that would
allow me to get back to work on that following Monday. I was competing against
the trail and a self-imposed time frame. As they quickly pulled away from me, Jason
was right in the mix and I remember feeling a sense of pride that my buddy was
right up there with the big boyz. During
the course of the race, when we read the check-in and check-out times of those
ahead of us, I was not surprised to read that Buffington was not taking any
significant breaks. I asked the good-natured
owner of the Skwentna Roadhouse to describe her encounter with
Jason Buffington and she laughingly replied that, “he seemed to be in a big
hurry to get going, one would never guess that he was riding to McGrath.” Concerning
point #2: Given that the top guyz were able to ride the vast majority of the
trail, this year’s race favored pure cyclists. Guyz like Buffington (and
perhaps Peter Basinger and Phil Hofstetter, from my limited knowledge of their
careers) who are equally at home man-hauling as cycling would presumably earn
higher finishes in years that involve a high percentage of hike-a-bike terrain.
For me, I was very happy to finish in a year that by Alaskan standards, the
trail “very good.” Walking with my bike for hour after hour is not something
that I enjoy doing. Looking back on it now, I realize how naïve I was to think
that I would be able to do the race in five days no matter the conditions. Had we gotten even as little as six inches of
snow and a little wind to set up some big drifts, it would have taken me at
least six dayz.
In the wider expanses of the Susitna River the track was
just too soft for me to ride. Yet, I was heartened to see the foot tracks of many
of those ahead of me which helped to ease my frustration with having to push
the bike. In the narrower sections and
on the infrequent terra-firma sections that transected dynamic oxbows, one
could ride, but only slowly and on nearly flat tires. In researching the route I had taken heed of
the warning that “Some racers in the past have made the mistake of turning
right up a slough shortly after getting on the Yentna River.” But, of course, I
made that mistake as I have absolutely no sense of direction. Luckily it was dark and so I could see from
the headlights of others, NOT following me that I had made the wrong turn, so I
was able to right the wrong before going very far awry. Lesson #4: Just cuz you aint gonna get any
faster and there aint no way you gonna win the race, it don’t mean you cannot
enjoy tremendous personal satisfaction from finishing a truly challenging bike
race.
I made the first checkpoint at Yentna Station just as two of
the faster guyz were leaving. Not long
after I entered the warmth of a classic log lodge, Mike Beiergrohslein entered
followed by Ken Zylstra, Bob Ostrom, and Mike Criego. I was in pretty good shape, in high spirits, feeling
good, and so I did not linger long, staying about forty minutes (by comparison
Buffington stayed 17 minutes and he was already nearly three hours ahead of me,
while he was twenty minutes behind the top five).
Part III: From Yentna Station to Skwentna Road House: from
Mile 57 to Mile 90. Riding under a
beautiful moon, the trail had hardened with the cooler night temperature and I
was pumped. As is my usual practice on
events like this I did take two wrong turns.
The first and most significant one cost me probably an hour or so and
involved absentmindedly following a detour off the main trail that was (on
reflection) most certainly part of the Junior Iditarod Dog Sled event (it is a
big loop that starts on the Iditarod Trail but quickly leaves the historic trail
and loops back to itz starting point in Wasilla (or maybe Willow, AK). I rode along it for quite some time until the
thought occurred to me that I was no longer following any bike tracks. I tried to convince myself that the reason
for no bike tracks was because dog teams had erased them all, for clearly I was
on a dog sled trail. Of course this kind of thinking was incredibly flawed as
we have not seen nor heard of any evidence of dog sleds traveling on the race
course. Finally I stopped and checked my compass and realized that I was
heading predominately in an easterly direction instead of the west-by-north
leaning Iditarod trail. Having learned
an important, albeit basic lesson in last year’s Trans-Iowa; namely that really
really hoping, hoping with all of one’s hoping ability that one is NOT going in
the wrong direction is not a good remedy for going in the wrong direction, I
stopped and headed back the way I came, finding the right way thirty minutes or
so later. My second wrong turn came just
as the sun was rising and I encountered a fork in the trail, I elected to
follow the trail following the right handed side of the river. I rode this for some time until it became
obvious that I was following only one other bike track. As I turned to go back to find the proper
trail which I was sure followed the left side of the river shore, I spied the
bright dual headlights of a bike. As the
cyclist advanced I was happy to ascertain that it was Lindsay Gauld. Lesson #5: If you cannot find your way out
of a city park and you are looking at trying to finish a 350 mile race through
the Alaskan wilderness, you are probably gonna do better if you ride with
someone else and Lindsay Gauld is about as good a partner as a man could wish
for.
As Lindsay and I rode along the river the sun rose providing
a beautiful orange hue to a truly wilderness setting, life was incredible good,
I couldn’t think of a place I’d rather be…as we rode along loving the whole
experience, it reminded me of a quote by Red from the classic film, Shawshenk
Redemption, “We sat and drank with the sun on
our shoulders and felt like free men. Hell, we could have been tarring the roof
of one of our own houses. We were the lords of all creation. As for Andy - he
spent that break hunkered in the shade, a strange little smile on his face,
watching us drink his beer.”
We rode into the Skwentna
Roadhouse committed to riding together for the duration and I resolved to
follow Lindsay’s plan to conserve energy by following a steady pace and taking a
few three or four hours rests to regain our strength at four of
checkpoints. Lindsay is the master of energy
conservation and practitioner of the steady enduro-pace. Lindsay had a plan and it was a good solid,
well thought out plan and when he offered to include me into his plans, I knew
it was a good bet that if I rode with him, we would make it to McGrath with
time to spare.
We were pretty played-out as we
entered the cozy lodge for we had been on the go for twenty-one hours with no
sleep and just an hour or so of non-movement. The time of our arrival was
approximately 11:00 a.m. and we stayed until 4:00 p.m. or five hours (by
comparison JP stayed an hour and Buffington was in and out of the Skwentna
Roadhouse in 30 minutes! Simply Amazing!).
The folks running the lodge were delightful and very accommodating. They fed us delicious plates of lasagna, after
which we each took showers and then rested on bunk-beds for a few hours. When we got up to leave, our gear was dry,
and we dressed while enjoying speaking with blogger, author and highly
motivated adventurer, Jill Homer, and Craig Medred, the tireless
journalist that has covered several of these race events over the years. Both are very impressive people, Medred
ultimately followed us to Rohn via snowmobile and interviewed Lindsay whilst we
rested on the pine boughs within a old trapper’s canvas tent and Jill continued
on to follow her boyfriend Beat Jagertehner (who is bound for Nome via
Man-hauling) in conjunction with several of her own adventures into the Alaskan
bush. Lesson # 6: You meet the coolest
people up here…
Part IV From Skwentna to Finger-Lake Lodge on Winter-Lake (Mile
130) with a brief stop at Shell Lake Lodge to visit Zoe.
The section from Skwentna to Shell Lake is highlighted by
the Shell Lake hills. Not long after
leaving the roadhouse, one begins to climb up into the foot hills of the
majestic Alaskan Range, home to Denali National Park and Mt. McKinley, the
highest mountain in North America. Mount
McKinley was the object of my obsessions and fears during the early 1990s, a
period in my life when I participated in five expeditions to this amazing
mountain range (three climbs on the various routes up southern flanks of
McKinley, one effort on Mount Hunter and one effort from the Muldrow Glacier to
attempt an ascent to the northern, albeit slightly lower summit of McKinley…I
was to stand only once on the summit of McKinley and we failed miserably on
Hunter, but the times spent upon these slopes represent some of the best times
of my life). That feeling of intense joy
that I had felt on these climbing expeditions had become a distant, but
cherished memory to me, but as we began to get glimpses of the majestic
mountain range, my heart soared with all the fond memories of those adventures came
rushing back into my psyche.
We rode into Shell Lake Lodge in good time and took an hour
or so to converse with two retired BLM surveyors that were enjoying a few beers
saddled up to Zoe’s bar. They had
snow-machined in from Knik and were very enthusiastic fans of the race having
passed up many of the racers en route to their cabin located near Zoe’s bar.
Lindsay also took time to apologize to Zoe for stealing a snickers bar from
behind the bar during last year’s race.
He had arrived to this very place in the wee hours of the morning a year
ago and had taken the candy bar, subsequently forgetting to leave
compensation. Ninety-nine percent of the
human race would have forgotten such a snub within a few hours of the offense.
But Lindsay had remembered and thus upon returning to Winnipeg, amid severe
frostbite, took time to mail a five dollar check to Zoe along with a letter of
apology. Thatz the kind of guy I was
riding my bike with through the interior of Alaska! I desperately wanted a
beer, but I worried that a “cold one” would put me down for the count. Had a
been alone I would have downed one, probably even two or three, but in the
company of such a gentlemen, I exercised restraint. The Shell Lake Lodge is a great place, an old,
1900’s styled beautifully crafted log structure right out of a Jack London
novel or Robert Service poem, perhaps (along with the super cool cabins at
Rainy Lake Lodge and at Rohn) this would be the place that I would strongly
recommend staying for an extended vacation.
Taking twelve hours from the last official checkpoint @
Skwentna, we arrived into Finger Lake Lodge at 3:35 a.m. and left at 9:35 a.m.
for about a six hour break. In
comparison, JP and team took less than nine hours to get to Finger Lake and
stayed 90 minutes. Buff stayed @ Finger
Lake for 50 Minutes! Simply amazing!
We ate quickly constructed burritos supplied by a sleepy,
but dedicated race volunteer and then headed for a ramshackle building in which
we found a hodgepodge of drop bags scattered along the two rooms. After some
digging we each found our drop bags and took on the extra supplies that we felt
we would need; I basically grabbed eight extra batteries and a little food, but
did not feel too guilty about leaving the excess food as I had not sent much in
my drop bags. I must say that I was surprised
by how much some of the racers had packed up for this first drop, which was
only 130 miles from the start. When I
made this comment to Lindsay, he reminded me that in a bad year, one could take
double or even triple the time to get to these drops as in a good year. I also
rifled through Buffington’s and Oatley’s drop-bags just ‘cuz I was curious as
to what they had left behind. I did grab
a seam-sealed package of cooked bacon and a small bag of jelly beans, but other
than these minor items, I felt like I was good to go… the idea being that a
second drop bag was only eighty miles away. Lesson # 7: Most of the time
people pack way too much stuff.
The sleeping cabin @ Finger Lake Lodge was hotter than a
Finnish sauna and all the bunks were occupied except a high bunk that required
technical climbing moves to gain itz berth.
I made the difficult climb, then quickly, but with great effort stripped
down to my birthday suit leaving my clothing, including my bibs (the only
fabric separating me tender nether region from the burly woolies I was wearing
as manly slacks), hanging on nails up in the rafters. I felt like one of
Dante’s eternal sufferer, sweat draining off me, so very quickly, perhaps
within only a few minutes, I realized that it was simply too hot to stay up
there in the rafters, so I climbed down, remembering to grab all the clothes,
except of course I overlooked the bibs that were hanging in the rear corner of
the bunk…
As stated above, I climbed down and then tried to force my
ravaged body onto a four foot tattered love-seat that looked to be right out of
some trailer park “down by the Cahulawassee River.” During
my sweaty languishing-time spent on that shortened stinky old couch, a truly
astonishing thing happened—the first runner, Dave Johnston arrived. I greeted
him with all the gusto I could muster given a severe case of cotton mouth and
then further conveyed to him that I thought that there may be a high bunk
available, I warned him that “it was hot up there.” He responded in his gregarious, upbeat, and
charismatic manner by saying to the effect, “no worries, I am only going to
rest for an hour.” He was true to his word, for by the time Lindsay and I left
around 9:45 a.m. he had been gone down the trail for over four hours! Dave is
an extraordinary person. Thus with our initial meeting @ Finger Lake, began a
series of several encounters along the trail with Dave, leading us to greatly
enjoy his upbeat, highly contagious, wonderfully optimistic persona. His effort in this race may well be as
impressive as that of the top three cyclists; he barely missed breaking the
foot record.
I can honestly say that I never came close to sleeping while
at Finger Lake Lodge. Perhaps as a
fitting conclusion to my wretched stay there, I nearly lost my brand new Black
Diamond headlight while I was scoping out the bottom of the nasty outhouse that
I used in the morning just before Lindsay and I departed. After completing my daily constitution sans
cup of coffee and sports page from the Duluth News Tribune, I (like all honest
men) turned to look down the hole to assess my handiwork. Just as I bent down over the hole and went to
turn on my head light, I abruptly slipped on the icy floor causing my head to
jerk forward and my light to go flying into the vile abyss. Stunned, the light shown upward from the foul
abyss and into my face, causing me to shield my eyes. As luck would have it, the strap had caught
on a turd-icicle within my reach, so I was able to fish it out…As I placed the
soiled headlight back onto my head…I had now officially reached that point in
the event where I had been reduced intellectually and morally to the level of a
immature, prepubescent gastropod. Those
of you that have witnessed this devolutionary descent know that it is not a
pretty sight. I was well on my way to
complete lunacy and idiocy. Thank God Lindsay was there to keep me ambulatory. All
my ties to human decency had been severed when I put that head light back on…
Immediately upon my return from the outhouse, Lindsay was
ready to go and thus was on me to get dressed and moving, but of course I could
not locate my cycling bibs. Lindsay, probably frustrated but too polite to let
on, left to get a quick breakfast from the Lodge-keepers while I randomly and
in high anxiety, tore the place apart looking for the bibs. In short order, I
came to the conclusion that either Kevin Easley or Eric Warkentin (two fast
guyz) or more likely both of them had participated in a most loathsome and
diabolical conspiracy to steal my cycling shorts from me during the wee hours
of the morning, as I had rested on the couch-of-despair. I knew from the race record book that they
had left at 5:35 a.m. At the time, in my state of mind, it made perfect sense
to me that they would steal my cycling bibs especially given the fact that I
knew for certain that Warkentin was from California! I even entertained the
notion that Dave, the runner, had stolen the bibs, but quickly erased that
concept from my troubled mind as irrational; why would an under-nourished
runner want my XL cycling bibs. To my credit, I never considered that Lindsay
could do such a thing, thus is the level of esteem I hold for this iconic
Canadian. Finally, emotional drained, I
collapsed on the floor, lying on back, eyes on the ceiling of the cabin. Catatonic, defeated, and yet resolved to
riding the rest of the 220 miles with no chamois, I worked through a future of
living the life of man in possession of a destroyed manhood. I knew the old-school woolies I was sporting,
sans cycling bib with enduro-chamois would rub me raw, rub me raw to the point
of excruciating torture, and yet to my credit I resolved to buck up and take
the hit. Just as I was about to turn over and stand back up, I spied the bibs
hanging on the nail high above my head. Salvation
was at hand. I quickly dressed and met
Lindsay as he was putting the last touches on packing up his bike. As we pulled out of Finger Lake we felt “the sun on our shoulders and felt like free men.”
Little did we suspect that Lindsay’s full camelback was sitting on a chair
inside the Lodge.
Part V From Finger Lake Lodge to Rainy Lake Lodge, located
on the Puntilla Lake (Mile 165)…to be continued…
Only a true man wears feces on his head without complaint.
ReplyDeleteEP
Awesome - looking forward to part V!
ReplyDeleteSo colorful and comical Mr Farrow, reminds me of your Stories from years past that I have missed so much.
ReplyDeleteWhat an adventure!
PS: Readers stay tuned for Part V, when Buffington blows up from stupidity and lack of sleep.
Cripes. I had to take a day off just to finish this tome. But you are still my hero, Farrow. Such an awesome account.
ReplyDeletecharlie, patrick f mcmanus was by far the greatest writer of high-class humor until you. i woke my wife by laughing so hard. you and mr. gauld were such a refreshing sight day after day...i crapped my pants trying to get to the outhouse that ate you headlamp and thank goodness i had a spare pair or i would have stole your biker shorts. i really can't wait to see you again, your friend dave j
ReplyDeleteNice job Charlie!! Way to git R dun!!
ReplyDeleteKaren