Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Save us....At least I think we need saving?

So anyway, like all wise men, shamans, and the like, through the eons of time, exalted spiritualists have from time to time attempted to enhance their take on things by embarking upon vision-quests. In practical terms, these vision-quests often rely on metaphorical imagery of which a wise man conveys to his less intellectually talented citizenry in the hopes of instilling into them some sense of the TRUTH. Through the annuls of antiquity, some relied upon long solo episodes into remote desert environs, others through fasting and meditation; for me I find that ingesting a large V.I.P. pizza complete with jalapenos and the full complement of spicy meats, chased by ample quantities of Bell’s Kalamazoo Stout has the effect of transporting me metaphysically into a different realm of time and space or even existence…offering essentially a venue by which to embark upon a metaphorical “vision quest.” Such was the case last night…

Having prepped accordingly, upon my trusty couch I lapsed into a vision quest...

Amid tempestuous winds and unsettled skies, high upon a bluff there stands a lonely tree. Below there is only the unbridled chaos of godless wolves attempting to engage in collective bargaining as the rest of the animals wither in various stages of starvation and disease. The nest rests high high high in this lonely tree. In the nest is a cacophony of obviously hungry and agitated Robin hatchlings, their weak mouths agape in anxious anticipation of a meal, any meal for they are in the depths of despair and hunger. There is supervision present, but alas the adult bird in the nest is not a Robin as expected (or as it should be), but instead a black ominous Raven sits. A Raven from a far-way land. The Raven has only thorns (and the like) to feed the pitiful hatchings. In forlorn desperation the baby birds try as they might to eat the thorns, but we all know that it is a hopeless endeavor. Suddenly as if Providence finally hears their cries, a Robin clad in the Stars and Stripes lands standing on a limb next to nest. He stands tall and true, very tall and very very true, courageously tall and courageously truthful. Soon the brave Robin chases off the Raven. The hatchlings are saved as the newly arrived Robin, still standing tall, momentarily bends down ever so slightly to feed the grateful hatchlings a bountiful feast of rotund and truthful worms…(Did I mention that he was clad beautifully from tail to beak in the Stars and Stripes and that he alwayz tells the truth)…the skies suddenly break a bright ocean blue and a rainbow appears….but just for the nest...

I am suddenly and shockingly awakened from my trance by the Man-dog, Loki, who is calling for my immediate assistance. I have significant heart burn. I will leave the interpretation of this vision-quest to you, my Dear Readers.


  1. I am just curious to know how many Kalazoo Stouts you had before you were thrown into the quest state? Tonight the Slender Fungus is riding, since it has again become cold, blustery and very windy. We will ponder about the Robin during our secretive, nocturnal ride.
    your friend,

  2. You are so tall. Just like that beautifully tall, truthful robin from Minnesota. The one that has the courage to be a robin who stands tall.

  3. Is the Robin Richard Simmons?!

  4. There maybe a problem as there is yet another Robin from the Northern Lats, a She-Robin that also has the courage to tell the hatchlings the truth and her truth maybe even more couragely truthful that the He-Robin?