Thursday, December 20, 2007

Enough is Enough...We, the people, demand Justice!!!!

An Open Letter from a Concerned Good American Cyclist to other Good American Cyclists:

My Dear Fellow Cyclists:

Twenty-niner riders do not need to worry anymore and rightly so. For it seems reasonable that with the passage of time, and several recent stunning victories in United States Cycling Federation sanctioned-events, coupled with American mainstream mega-corporations currently manufacturing these new bikes earnestly in far away exotic lands (i.e. Chinese sweatshops); most, if not all, mainstream American cyclists have come to believe that those legal U.S. citizens that choose to ride mountain bikes affixed with twenty-nine inch wheels are really essentially and fundamentally no different than any other American cyclist or group of American cyclists; that the “29er community” does not in anyway represent a threat to the mainstream American cycling establishment. The American 29er community, composed entirely of legal United States citizens, believes in Baseball, Fast-food Apple Pie, EPO, and the American Way just like all good legal United States cyclists do...

Unfortunately, in the name of transparency and general uncertainty about “their” real aims and goals, the same perhaps cannot be said of this new fringe group; namely, the Clown Bike community,
(note: I refuse to use their self-proclaimed, more benign "snowbike" moniker). I think I reflect the beliefs of all true Americans, when I proclaim that the time is NOW for the Clown Bike community to declare it's exact agenda? I think I am representative of the legal United States citizenry when I announce that the time is NOW for the Clown Bike community to respond to the “speculative rumors” and “half-truths” that those that choose to ride the Pugsley and other "clown bikes" are indeed apart of some sinister ”un-American” cult!!!! If these accusations are incorrect, then I call upon the Clown Bike parishioners to submit to questioning? Or face the full wrath of a United States public that deserves full disclosure and top quality reality TV shows!

American cyclists, you and your loved ones have heard all the rumors— where do these people come from? Are these people legal? Are those fat-bikes legal? Will “their” obsession with width and volume compromise “their” allegiance to the ideals upon which this great country is founded? Who or what compels them to ride such bulky cumbersome rigs? Are they behind the Global-warming hoax? For whom do they serve? Are they taking their cues from the United States Constitution and the Rule of Law or do they believe that they are exempt from these pillars of democracy in favor of some charismatic, yet fiendish cult-like figure or pagan mandate? If not a cult, then is it some kind of quasi-religious movement? Do they ultimately mean us harm? Are they armed? Are our CHILDREN safe?
And most importantly should they be banned from the 2008 Arrowhead 135?

I say that in the tradition of the US judicial system, before we prematurely light the fires and erect the gallows; we afford this "fringe' group a chance to come admit guilt, but the clock is ticking........

A Concern Citizen and proud member of the American 29er Community,

Charlie Farrow


  1. You know what I think? I think if you had an unlimited budget for bicycles, you'd be a proud owner of a clown bike!!

  2. Clown bikes are 29ers :) You could group us in with the 4x4 trucks that almost run you off the road. Then we could give you the finger as we fly by on the Arrowhead trail :)

  3. Gosh Charlie,
    I think if you measure the outside diameter of a pugs/endomorph wheel/tire it's about the same size as your Gunnar's. Is this really just a width problem?