Why I am a good bet to Win the Cable Classic:
In less than 24 hours I will be afforded a real test of my racing prowess, since I went on a concerted full-on serious diet designed to mold my body into an efficient sinewy athletic machine, I am a darn good bet for winning both of the area's big mountain bike races this weekend, come rain or shine. I went on this Spartan-like diet late last night and I am holding to it as I type. This nutritional regime is just one element of the three pronged approach that I am going to rely upon to take me to victory on the single tracks that crisscross there way from Lakewood’s Resort back to Cable and the confined suburbian green-space that is Inver-Grove Heights; The Cable Classic and Erik's Spring Opener. The other two "prongs" included in my recipe for success will not be revealed for obvious reasons...
The Strategy for Victory: A Cost/Benefit Analysis--
While the majority of the serious mtb racers on Saturday and Sunday are both intellectually and athletically my superior, while the vast majority ride lighter and technically superior bikes, while 90% enjoy better weight to height ratios, while 94% of the guyz are younger, and while 99.9% exercise more restraint when it comes to the liberal use of libations; I do hold a few advantages that could potentially allow me to win these races…...Advantage #1:________ well okay, maybe not! Sorry :( I guess I won't be winning the races, unless........
Xenophobic (especially of Xanthippe): 30 minutes plus cleaned up the 29 inch Chariot of Victory...
Charlie, you got 18th place loser. Better than me, I got snubbed by 186 mountain bikers, none of which had a pump? What an unfriendly crowd, I think you even snubbed me!
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